Trying to think: My Life as a Student @ WWU

264- FINALS WEEK: DAY 4

2008-06-12T20:53:00.001-07:00

DONE. Turned in my final paper this morning for history and have pretty much spent all day goofing off seeing people. Went climbing outside, slacklining, and just overall screwing around. I'm not sure what's going on this evening, so I'm working on this while I figure out what's happening. Options are somewhat limited when nearly everyone has gone home.

This is my last post under this blog. I'll have a new one set up for the summer, then set up a different one for next school year.

I guess this is where I actually talk about what I learned throughout the course of the school year. Strangely, most of what I have acquired seem to be ways of processing and viewing information rather than the information itself. I couldn't tell you most of the tidbits of information that I have gleaned from my American History course. But when I can look at newspaper articles and figure out the different paradigms used by countries for their foreign policy, I get really excited, because it's really interesting.

But what about me? What has changed about me since I've been here? Not only in terms of beliefs and perspectives, but also in personality?

We'll do the positive aspects first. I have really come to love the outdoors and such related activities. I have always been an active person, constantly needing something to do to avoid boredom, but when there's something about waking up "early" to hit the trail to a bouldering route when just about everyone around you is still asleep or hung over from the happenings of the night before. It's a great way to communicate with my Maker, have genuine hangouts and good conversations with people, just being in stuff that's really cool to look at. I had the thought today that everything in nature somehow reflects God's character. Pretty cool stuff.

Second, I have embraced my natural extravert a lot more. Sometimes I tend to be really mellow when I first meet people, but it's so much more fun to leave an impression on someone. For example. It's gotta be more fun to meet someone with a whole cupcake shoved in their mouth than someone who simply offers a half-wave and a "Hi, I'm Brandon." Yeah, I've freaked a few people out, but that's ok. Spring quarter was really fun for a few reasons, one of which was my natural tendency to meet people, which meant that I saw people I knew all the time, and I wasn't scared to look them in the eyes and high-five them every time I saw them. The sun helped too, but a rainy day is more bearable if you have people with whom to hole up and watch movies.

Third, I can honestly say my faith in God has deepened. This is pretty much the coolest thing ever, to know that God's got the helm and my trying to take it from him isn't going to help anything, but rather lead to my driving into a hillside. I've also realized the importance of memorization. There's that whole AWANA bit, which is cool, but I've honestly forgotten almost all of those verses. When you're seven years old, all you know is that if you learn this phrase, you get points. The goal is not a deeper understanding of Christ and the tools to defend yourself from Satan's flaming arrows, but rather to win a series of games to obtain bragging rights and candy. You aren't moved by the eloquence of a Psalm, nor appreciate Solomon's candid words on life as it is, nor feel pushed by Paul's constructive criticism and encouragement. That kind of appreciation comes with age and the ability to understand how it benefits you. And I've finally reached that point. Finally. 21 years in the making.

Ok, so there's some things I need to work on as well. This may sound really strange, but the main thing is self-confidence. I've always been scared to rock the boat, to go out on a limb and say things that aren't popular or appreciated. But I think it goes deeper than that. Sometimes I genuinely feel that no one cares about what I have to say, which is, of course, a lie. I feel I lack the skill to clearly communicate the knowledge and ideas I have amassed, which is a bit more on the correct side of things. In addition, I feel as though I use following Jesus as a cop-out to having goals or dreams for my future, because I lack the confidence or know-how to really pursue anything. When stuff gets harder, I generally just quit and figure it's not worth the stress. Of course, the Bible clearly teaches otherwise (I mentioned this in an Ecclesiastes post about 2 weeks ago, though Ecc. also teaches that it's "like chasing the wind") I realized this was a bigger problem than I thought when I met with a Resident Director who was the leader of my small group in the ResLife class I had to take. When I asked how she knew that I struggled with this, she simply smiled and said that some people with confidence issues over-compensate in hopes that no one will notice. Not to say that I have an ego, but I definitely see that over-compensation in my personality. Self-confidence is going to be critical in my job next year, which is why it's a "project" of mine over the summer.

Otherwise: I have had SUCH an amazing year. I have a good base of friends, and there are some that I will miss terribly. Lots of amazing adventures happened. Spending hours at Larrabee State Park, incredible sunsets, good conversations, aching muscles and late nights. Rolling down the hill on the way to Haggen, as well as playing tag in said establishment. Slackline in the rain and in below-freezing temperatures. That really fun drop into 2-3 ft of fresh snow at Mt Baker. Chillin' with my biological (and Christian) brother Evan and Christian brother Simon when they came up to visit. Really bad puns, high-fives, and doing cartwheels and handstands in the dining hall. Trying to slide a hurdle on the football field with a snowboard and a tow-rope. Jumping off stuff and wondering why I'm still in one piece. The first -and only decent- Bad Writing Night. Griping about dining hall food and eating it anyway.

Lots of memories, and I'm sure I'm still missing so many.

To anyone at Western that reads this, thank you, because you're amazing.

It is now 1:10 AM on Friday, which means I'm supposed to be up, showered, awake, caffeinated (I made it all week!) and driving in 7 hours.

My summer posts will be here. They may be few and far between because I won't always have access to a computer and will be out of town a fair amount.

Until then, thanks so much for sticking with me, and I hope you read my future posts.

-Brandon

263-FINALS WEEK: DAY 3

2008-06-11T21:35:00.000-07:00

Oh my. Today was interesting. I was up and moving by 9:00, did some reading, mailed a letter, tried to study, went to lunch, turned in a paper, hung out, took a final, had dinner, hung out some more and now I'm here, really tired for some reason.

Highlight of my day: Being done with the one final that I actually had to go to. I had both of the papers due this week done, at least mostly, but that stupid scheduled final...grr. But now it's done, and I'm thankful for it. I returned from dinner to find a new slackline laying on my bed, courtesy my amazing friend Meagan. It's really fun, because it's half the width of the one I already had. I threw a bit of a fit, then realized that I should just accept it. So I did. And it's awesome.

Walked around being goofy for awhile, and now I'm really hungry. I just have to turn in that one last final paper tomorrow morning...

AH I am so close. I'm to the point I just want to be done so I can have fun and not worry about stuff.

I leave here in less than 48 hours...wow.

262-FINALS WEEK: DAY 2

2008-06-10T23:07:00.000-07:00

Finished both of my papers today, except for a quick proof read on one of them after I've given myself a day to not think about it. Otherwise, I hung out a lot. That was my Tuesday. I learned a few Bob Dylan songs on the guitar, all I need now is a harmonica and a fedora.

I'm feeling really good. Very at-peace. I just have one final left tomorrow at 3:30 PM, so I should probably go over my notes at some point.

Sometimes I feel like a terrible student. Right now, I'll chalk it up to being super burnt out. I can't imagine what next year will be like.

261- FINALS WEEK: DAY 1

2008-06-09T16:33:00.001-07:00

I have yet to do anything scholarly today. I woke up, made tea, and ventured down to North Campus for quiet time and lunch. I then went to a meeting with my small group leader for the ResLife class that I had to take to be a Resident Advisor next year. It was good to talk to her outside of a classroom setting.

I just got back from climbing again, and I'm pretty wiped out.

Yeah. Not much else to say here.

I have a paper I should probably work on. After dinner....

260

2008-06-08T18:12:00.000-07:00

Church in the morning, brunch at the dining hall, and I honestly was going to go on about a 10 mile hike, but I got to the trailhead, pulled out my bag then thought "Do I seriously want to walk 10 miles right now?"

"No."

Then I went climbing down at Larrabee State Park.

Got back on campus at about 3:00, was bored, hung out for awhile, then went to the library to finish up on my history paper. I now have eight pages worth of material: it's revision time.

Dinner, and now I'm here, listening to Brad Paisley and thinking about going outside for awhile, although the weather looks like it's taking a turn for the worst and I don't want to go outside just to get rained on. I'll have to venture out later for a sunset, but right now my back is sore.

Make tea and play the guitar? I think I might.

I should note that I had coffee at church this morning. But I promise I'll make it through this week without it.

Gas is up to $4.50 a gallon up here. Just thought I'd tell you. I'm guessing $5 by the end of the summer.

259

2008-06-07T23:28:00.001-07:00

Interesting day. I got up at a decent hour to work on a paper, and did pretty well. I now have about seven of eight pages typed, plus I have yet to write an introduction or conclusion. In addition, I began my other 5-7 page paper, and should have that one done by Monday evening. At least that's my goal.

Having completed school work for the day, I went to a local music store with some friends. I was only in there for about 20 min before I was ready to run out screaming. Not that the store was a bad place, but it reminded me of my days in retail, and also of my inability to play a nice guitar without wanting to put it on my account. I like my 30 year old acoustic, but it's not a Taylor or a Larrivee.

This evening, I went down to Boulevard Park for the first time as a Western student, and didn't think it was as cool as everyone tells me it is. Yeah, it's got the water and such which is something that it has going for it. But there aren't as many interesting people to watch as at Esther Short, and it just doesn't have the same eclectic vibe that Esther Short does. Meh. It's cool.

Watched Zoolander for about the 5th time this year, and I really like that movie. It gets funnier everytime.

Walked back to the folks in the dorms hollaring, obviously sloshed. Even walking past a few folks that looked as though they were no strangers to partying, they looked at me, shifted their eyes towards the noise, and muttered "Crazy." I hear they will be back up in Beta/Gamma next year, which is where I am placed. So I'll have to learn to deal with drunk people. Fun. I feel like I've learned a lot even being up here.

SO I'm sorta tired. Tomorrow should be interesting. I still haven't heard if I made the CTK worship team, though at this point I am kind of doubting that I made it. Honestly, that's adding to what stress level I have left.

Oh. Read Galations today. Paul really wasn't happy with them...

258

2008-06-06T20:18:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in the Viking Union watching a sunset. Or, at least the clouds in front of the sunset. It's actually kinda cool. It makes the clouds just on the horizon look like they're on fire. Oh, how I love sunsets. I find myself missing the wintertime sunrises over the hills back home, with the flourescent pink and oranges, telltale signs that it's a day to stay inside.

It was actually this afternoon. After a morning of rain, it was great to have blue skies that I miss so much, even if it was only for a few hours. My stress levels went down significantly today. Starting things really does help. I'm about five pages into my eight-page Soviet History paper, and I'm actually enjoying writing this one. If I play my cards right, I can be done with both papers by Monday evening, which would be rad. Neither of them are due until Wednesday, and one is due Thursday, but I am honestly just sick of thinking about them. And I have to do well on my Wednesday afternoon final, so I'll hopefully be able to have a good chunk of time to devote to that. If the weather keeps hating Bellingham, studying shouldn't be a problem.

Hopefully it'll be somewhat nice on Sunday. It'd be nice to get out at least one more time before the end of the year.

I leave a week from today. That's scary. I have a feeling tonight's gonna be a wild one on the Ridge though.

257

2008-06-06T01:09:00.001-07:00

I went to the rock wall again today. I pushed myself really hard, and now my arms hurt. Funny how that works.

Today was interesting. I don't get stressed out pretty much ever, so it was weird to get through half the day with a crazy constricted feeling around my eyes and an aching head. I did start a paper though, which alleviated a bit of the stress, and I went and found people to hang out with, which also helped a lot. Climbing was fun too and helped me regain part of my sanity.

I've made the decision to not drink coffee until after finals week. I had it three days in a row and I feel myself needing it. Stupid addiction. I will not be mastered by anything.

I was reading in 1st Corinthians today, and I got to chapter 7, and read it like eight times. When I got to the part about married people not having self control and how it's better to remain single, I got really confused. I had read it before, but I never really grasped the implications. Paul seems to seriously be telling people not to get married. I know that men and women were created to be together, a metaphor and symbol of the union between Christ and his church. One needs the other in order for humanity to survive. That's just how it works.

Any insight on this?

Tomorrow is Friday. Which means that a week from then, I will be packing up and moving back to Vancouver for the summer. I think that's the real stressor. Leaving and saying goodbye to people that I have seen everyday for the last 9 months.

256

2008-06-04T09:42:00.000-07:00

Really quickly before I have to run to class...

Psalm 49:16-19

16 Do not be afraid when a man becomes rich, when the glory of his house in increased; 17 For when he dies he will carry nothing away; his glory will not descend after him. 18 Though while he lives to congratulate himself- and though men praise you when you do well for yourself - 19 He shall go to the generation of his fathers; They shall never see the light.

The end of verse 17 is interesting, because it's assuming they will descend. I may be reading too far into this, but remember the whole "camel through the eye of a needle" thing?

The phrasing of verse 18 was really cool too.

Ok, I have to go to class.

255-And the Rain Returns

2008-06-03T23:35:00.001-07:00

I woke up this morning to a popularity spike: two text messages and one voicemail. Popularity spikes are fun.

This morning, I looked out my window and saw rain falling. Of course, it doesn't matter that it's June and supposed to be sunny. I have about a week and a half to go of school, and I'm just sick of doing school. This doesn't include that I have a certain stressor that's driving me nuts. I spent my early afternoon in the Underground Coffeehouse laying on a couch trying to forget that it was Dead Week, then my early evening reading a book for my Soviet history class.

I am a huge Switchfoot fan. They are tied for #1 on my favorites list with the Eagles, and I actually listen to them more these days than I listen to the Eagles. On rainy days such as this one, I really dwell on their album Nothing is Sound. I know I've talked about it before, but I just love it. It's not one of their better albums, but it fits days like today perfectly. When the weather isn't working the way I want it to, I am thinking about life way more than I should, and I'm walking by myself in the rain a lot, this album captures the mood perfectly. I listened to this one a lot today.

Later in the day, I met with a friend, who introduced me to the Open Mic night at the Underground, which is really funny, because it's the last one of the year. It was about what I expected, which is why I hadn' gone as of late. There were a few good acts, though, and a few that just deserve props for doing what they did: it takes guts to play techno-ish whatnot to a college crowd in Bellingham.

There was one, though, that was so vulgar that I couldn't believe that the sound guy kept him going. To the sound guy's credit, he did turn him off momentarily, but the guy kept going with his grossness. I was proud to be able to stand up with my friend, leave, and not feel like I was doing the guy an injustice: it was that terrible.

I feel as though I should talk about something a bit more important, but my brain is fried with life's happenings. I hope I mellow out here soon, because having my brain on overload sucks.

254

2008-06-02T18:03:00.000-07:00

As I was wandering about today, in my travels I began to think about some pretty strange things.

One of which was: people don't talk in elevators.

This is really funny to me, because I am usually looking to strike up a conversation anywhere, and an elevator is no exception. But when standing in an elevator, everyone faces the door and gives off a distinct vibe that says "don't talk to me. We're in an elevator."

Why is this?

There are other things as well that just puzzle me, and I'll never know the answers.

Why do girls need so many shoes, and why can't they wear the same prom dress two years in a row?

How come we park in driveways, yet drive on parkways?

Why does hair grow in our armpits?

Why are yawns contagious?

*shrug*

I'm sure there are more of these things that my wiped-out mind can't grab right now.

253- Happy June

2008-06-01T21:42:00.000-07:00

Once again, weekends in Bellingham are amazing. I spent Friday, Saturday, and Sunday out hanging with friends outside. My body is really tired, and it'll take a few days of rest to get feeling solid again. Friday and Saturday I caught some incredible sunsets. May I never take another one for granted. I'm currently sipping on a cup of coffee and listening to music.

I've been thinking about this whole blogging thing. I have noticed a distinct lack of comments, which could mean a few things: One, my writing sucks. Two, I'm writing about things that aren't interesting to anyone. Three, I'm offending people. I'm guessing that it's a combination of all three things.

I want to apologize to anyone I've offended. I'm forever done talking about politics, at least on blogger. Things seem to stay a bit more cival when these discussions take place in person.

Awhile back, I discussed a bad habit of mine, specifically swearing. I am happy to say that while this habit persists, it's gotten MUCH better (I've been hanging out with a different crowd recently...funny what that'll do.) Within the context of this discussion, the issue of anger was brought up. I have since talked to a few individuals about this topic, and I get a general vibe that anger is "bad." Whether it's sin or not has not been pinned down. While the word "anger" has a negative conotation, I feel as though there are a few different elements to it that make it "right" or "wrong." The first: what are you angry about? The second: How long did it take you to get there?

I might take this moment to remind people that God himself, while DEFINITELY loving, merciful, and full of grace is capable of anger. There's a ton of evidence of that in the Old Testament. He leveled the earth with the flood and started over. When Korah rebelled against Moses in Numbers 16, Moses became angry, and God answered that anger by opening up the earth and swallowing Korah and his followers. As far as New Testament, Jesus took out his anger on the pharisees and merchants in the temple.

Anger is biblical. It's also an emotion. I would argue that to some extent it's healthy. But what makes it healthy? As I said previously, what are you angry about?

When Moses became angry with Korah, it was because the authority God had given him had been challenged. What's interesting about this is that Moses doesn't do much. He leaves it to God to say who's in charge. God responds to this by destroying all of Korah's family.

Jesus took out his anger on the merchants in Matthew 21:12-13 by casting them out and overturning their tables. Why? They were defiling his house. It was supposed to be a house of prayer, and it had been turned into a "den of thieves." I'd say that's a legitimate reason for anger.

A bad reason to be angry: being unable to complete a bouldering route while rock climbing.

Again, the other element involved here is how long it takes someone to get angry, and not only that, but how long they stayed angry. After Jesus cast out all the merchants and moneychangers in the temple, what did he do? In v.14, IMMEDIATELY afterward, he goes back to healing people.

We know that God himself is a "God of forgiveness, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness." (Nehemiah 9:17b)

Psalm 30:5 says "For His anger is but for a moment, his favor is for a lifetime..."

So God himself feels anger. He can't be in the presence of sin, so we can logically conclude that anger itself is not a sin. HOWEVER. What is the object of the anger? Is it the name of the LORD being defiled or questioned, or anger at the 6 year old kid screaming bloody murder at the sight of a garter snake at a lake, or something dumb like a rock that is hard to hang onto?
As a result, I feel as though anger should be a rarity, because it really isn't worth it to get riled up about the things that we do. I also feel as though the take home message is don't let anger control you, because that's when the line gets fuzzy. Anger's rise must be controlled, and if it doesn't fade quickly, the red-zone has once again been reached. Really dumb things have been said when anger is involved, and really dumb decisions have been made under it's influence as well.

250!

2008-05-29T16:26:00.000-07:00

Today, I decided, should be reserved as a rest day for my once-again aching body. I should probably stretch a bit more often.

I have been by myself for most of the day, and I'm a little bummed out about it. It's kind of a gross day, so I'm not as excited as I should be. I do have the weekend to look forward to, though, so I am looking forward to three solid adventures (yet to be planned, mind you, but they will happen.)

I gave my testimony at Core last night. It was kind of exciting, but I wish I had gone a bit deeper and talked about some of the struggles I've had. Honestly, they've almost all been mental up until now. I did get to express my love for the book of Ecclesiastes and read a chunk towards the end where things seem to get a bit happier. I got a couple funny looks when I talked about how much I liked the book, perhaps because it was unfamiliar, and perhaps because it's sort of depressing in parts. I, on the other hand, find it totally refreshing that one of the wisest men ever to set foot on this dustball we call earth recognized that life sucks a lot of the time and that our relationship with God is all that matters.

I especially love chapter 11: 9-10.

9 Rejoice, young man, during your childhood, and let your heart be pleasant during the days of young manhood. And follow the impulses of your heart and the desires of your eyes. Yet know that God will bring you to judgement for all these things (I LOVE the eternal perspective!) 10 So, remove vexation from your heart and put away pain from your body, because childhood and the prime of life are fleeting.

This can seem depressing from one perspective. "Awe, man, the prime of my life is fleeting!"

But from my perspective: That's right now! I am actually told to follow my heart and my eyes, as long as these things are honoring to God.

SO cool.

I'm a little tired right now, hopefully that'll pass soon enough. Like I said, I'm gearing up for the weekend.

248 Written in the Wee-Morning Hours of 249

2008-05-28T00:30:00.000-07:00

I'm sorta burnt out. I didn't sleep well last night, and I'm still rebounding from the fullness of the weekend. I'm sort of stressed and the tension I cited last week seems to have returned. I think I need another sunny-day adventure. They seem to make everything better, at least for awhile.

Getting about halfway through my history reading for tomorrow, I decided that I couldn't read anymore, then went out to watch the sunset.

Sunsets to me are a glimpse into what this world was supposed to be like before we went and mucked it up.

247

2008-05-26T15:56:00.000-07:00

So, today is Memorial Day. It's also kind of disgusting outside. Which means that I am taking advantage of having the room to myself and watching Band of Brothers while my muscles rest from seven straight days of climbing and being active. It's hard to do, yes, but it's necessary to ensure that I can continue climbing and adventuring. Thankfully, it's sort of raining, so I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. I may pull my slackline out a bit later, though.

Returning to the day at hand, I keep thinking of these lyrics from a Blue Scholars song

America romanticize the old war story
Heroes, ammo, guns, blood, guts and glory

Part of me views this day as a creation of our government in order to continue that tradition, and to some extent, I'm sure that it's so.

The other part of me is filled with gratitude and appreciation that there are those who think that their country is worth dying for. A standing army (or at least the ability to defend itself) is a huge part of what makes a nation what it is: it has to protect it's own sovereignty to ensure stability. We owe this relative stability to the people who signed up to be a part of this defense, and to those who didn't dodge the draft even if they didn't believe in it. It takes guts to jump out of a trench, run off of a Higgins boat into three feet of water, or land a helicopter in the jungle all while facing artillery, machine-gun, and small arms fire. It's something I hope I never have to experience.

I have my views on war, violence, death and destruction.

But I must recognize those who are willing to die to protect my right to hold the views that I do.

246

2008-05-25T20:21:00.000-07:00

I'm beat. I have spent the last three days adventuring various out-lying areas of Bellingham. I'm climbed a lot, I've hiked a decent amount, and gotten a solid dose of vitamin-D. I feel my face getting that stretchy feeling that usually means a sunburn, so we'll see how it looks in the morning. My left arm has sandstone rash on it from a botched bouldering route. My arms and back hurt a lot, but all the pain is worth the good times that came with it.

I've been thinking a lot lately. I was realizing today, sitting on the beach surrounded by amazing rocks, sand, and seaweed how difficult it's going to be to go home this summer. I've made a lot of really good friends up here, and leaving them all for three months is going to be lame.

Three-ish weeks left of this madness. I love school, I love my friends, I love Bellingham. But since I am spending one more summer in Vancouver, I am so glad that I get to spend it the way I do. More adventure.

Sweet.

243

2008-05-23T00:09:00.001-07:00

I've got a tension of some kind. My body is sore, and I know how that feels because I did it to myself. This seems to be a tension of the mind, but it's not stress. I don't know what it is, it just feels strange. Otherwise, I'm stoked to be around, alive, and kickin'. I do, however, wish it was sunny more often.

I was gearing up for the three day weekend until I found out that rain was forecast for this weekend. Man, do I need an adventure. I haven't been outside off campus in probably a week. I was hoping for some hiking and climbing with a friend, but that may not happen. Again.

I am the proud owner of a pair of Chacos and a climbing harness, which I got to use when some friends I made at the climbing wall belayed me (I got to go to the top!), then taught me how to belay. So fun. I'm set and stoked to climb really high stuff this summer.

Yesterday was very full. I am trying to stay away from the Ridge most of the time, and I tend to see more people on north campus if I hang out down there. So, I was away from the room from 9:30-ish up until about 11:00 PM. Which was totally fine, because it wasn't like I was doing nothing. I've gotten a ton of reading done, went to classes, did some hanging out, went to Core, and, the highlight of the night: went to an Associated Students meeting in which the board members approved (with reservations, I might add,) to approve an $8 a quarter raise in the health fee per student. While it's sort of a bummer that students have to pay for this, its totally worth it. It goes toward Crime and Sexual Assault Support (CASAS), Women's Empowerment and Violence Education (WEAVE), and other resources for student on campus that had lost their government funding. These organizations provide counseling for victims of violence and so on, and the additional fee ensures that they have counselors year round (incl. summer if I understand it correctly.) While I hope I never have to refer residents to these resources next year, they are valuable resources that should be available, and it was super cool to be there when the motion passed. Most people won't notice the $8 on their bill anyway, since it either goes straight to their parents or they don't look at the breakdown.

I am going to add here: Western students. Do have ANY idea how much this institution can do for you besides give you a degree in whatever? There's free tea and awesome people to talk to at the Wellness Outreach Center (WOC.) The fine folks at the Career Center will look over resumes, keep you informed on internships, and help you pick what you want to do with your life. If you get overwhelmed with school and life and need someone to "word vomit" all over, go to the Counseling Center.

By the way. I might add that you already pay for all of this anyway in your tuition.

I really just wish I had known all of this before. I remember looking down my breakdown and going "huh...I wonder what this $80 in fees is...oh well."

This evening I proxied at Resident Hall Association (RHA.) I had fun, believe it or not. Everyone was really happy and riled up, which made me more giggly than normal. It's awesome when people point at you and recognize you as the "most excited person they saw all day," or point at you from across the room and say "I love this guy!"

Yeah. I'm stoked on life. I've got a lot of reasons to be as happy as I am.

241

2008-05-20T23:25:00.000-07:00

In these last few rainy days, I've had time to reacquaint myself with something I forgot I really enjoyed: reading. Currently, I'm working on Marx's Kapital and Stephan Ambrose's The Wild Blue, which is about B-24 pilots over Europe during the Second World War.

I have noticed, though, that I read things differently now, and specifically Ambrose. I have always enjoyed his writing, and it's the kind of writing that a guy like me can only hope to produce someday. But I've found that a lot of his main points are derived from personal interviews.

"What's wrong with that?," some may ask.

Well, nothing. One of the things we training to be historians learn is to take EVERYTHING with a grain of salt, and personal testimonies and interviews may seem to be a strong source, and they are; until you realize that these interviews are being given some 40-50 years after the events occured. A lot can happen to one's memory within that time frame. Events can be glorified or played down, as well as exaggerated. Names, places, dates, and times can be forgotten or changed. This could be done intentionally or completely by accident. Interviews are funny, because you can talk to five people who were at the same place at the same time and get five different perspectives on an event.

Ambrose builds much of his case on these interviews, including many with George McGovern (yes, the politician.) And while it's fascinating to read these stories, it's all from the perspectives of a limited number of pilots and airmen out of hundreds of thousands who served.

Knowing this has made reading more interesting. It's fun to be able to question what you read and decide if you agree with an author on a particular subject. One example: Ambrose writes that the vast majority of Army Air Force (AAF) airmen were between the ages of 2 and 10 when Limburgh flew across the Pond. He then deduced that this is why all of the men wanted to fly airplanes. I have yet to find his evidence. It's an interesting coincidence, yes, and it's also very possible. But there were many other benefits to flying in the air force, like not having to live in a foxhole with another guy in snow enduring constant shelling and machine gun fire. Hot food, a bed to sleep on. Sweet. Of course, you are also stuck in a giant tin can while flak and explosions burst all around you. Not so sweet.

I've gotten to do some more climbing indoors since it's raining, but I'm ready for another adventure down to the coast for some climbing. Hiking...AH! Must...get...out..side.

240

2008-05-19T18:29:00.000-07:00

I have felt very tired all day. I went to bed earlier than normal, and I haven't pushed my body to its limits yet. I'm going to try and get some much-needed climbing in, so hopefully there will be people at the wall I can meet and draw some energy from.

I think it's the rain. It seems more life-sucking now that I've seen the sun for a few days. The strange thing is that it's still quite warm outside. It's still t-shirt weather, except that water is falling from the sky.

Got my midterms back today and they were about what I expected. Did some reading, tried like crazy to find ways to entertain myself, including slacklining in the rain. I've now successfully completed the 360 pivot. I switch feet, but it's still really fun. And this really cool lean-back thing that I picked up from a guy at Esther Short park over the weekend.

I think I'm gonna get a half-inch line here pretty soon. Just for a new challenge. And a harness so I can get some high-lines going.

I'm really crazy.

239

2008-05-18T22:23:00.000-07:00

I spent my weekend in Vancouver dealing with the unseasonably scorching heat. While my primary reason for making the trip south was to watch my amazing mother play the piano with an orchestra, I got to see a bunch of my friends, make some new ones (Jenn, Lorrie, and Dan. See! I even remembered their names. Although I'm pretty sure I freaked them out a little bit..) I also was able to ride a bike, walk around barefoot, and make a once-customary midnight-ish run through Muchas Gracias for an Oregon burrito and loud conversation.

I got a lot of "hippy" comments this weekend at church and home. And yet I am unsure on how exactly to define the word "hippy."

I have long-ish hair.

I walk around without shoes most of the time.

I am against war or "premature" deaths of any kind.

I would rather slack line or rock-climb than play basketball or football.

I believe TV and movies are a waste of time and a creation of the bourgoisie to increase profit margins.

I appreciate nature enough to put up a fight against people who want to destroy it.

I believe in the rise of the proletariat.

I am sick of the Bush regime, but I'm also sick of politicians in general.

I don't understand how all are entitled to "liberty," but I can't ride my skateboard on campus.

Certainly other people fit in with these characteristics and yet do not consider themselves hippies. And while I am comfortable with the label, I would like to know what it is that people are going to assume about me if I am referred to in such a way.

I should note that I do not smoke bud. Nor will I ever. That's a bourgeois creation as well.

236

2008-05-15T20:56:00.000-07:00

Today was a thousand times better than yesterday. It probably topped out at 70-ish degrees outside with complete bluebird skies. I got up, got lunch, read the newspaper, filmed a movie with my homies for the RA class, then went slacklining, followed by rock climbing on the beach (I finally found a few walls with sandy landings!) I'm now trying to figure out what to do next. I'm taking the train home tomorrow, so I've still got to get ready for that, as well as eat something.

There were a few times in the course of my adventure that I decided it was necessary to remove the flip-flops and barefoot the hike I was taking to the rocks. I'm really really dirty, way more than normal.

And yet I feel it would be a waste of water for me to take a shower, considering I smell fine.

Ya'll.

I think I'm a hippy.

235

2008-05-14T18:03:00.000-07:00

I'm writing after having gone through one of my worst days as a student at Western. Choices that I make as a person trying to follow Christ in a world that really could care less have finally brought me into conflict with those I try so desperately to reach, the conflict that Christ himself made known would happen. While I know that I did the right thing, some very hurtful things were said to me, and I have spent the day enduring the arrows of the Evil One, trying with everything I have to extinguish the flames. In some moments I have been able to triumph, in most I have failed, left walking in the Bellingham drizzle feeling utterly alone. I have taken a beating today, and Satan won't let up for as long as I live, let alone this evening.

In a little over two hours, my friend and I will be helping lead Core. This is immensely stressful for me. I was really excited about this yesterday: now I just want to walk in the woods with friends that emit positive energy while I trudge through this day feeling inadequate.

But my feelings of inadequacy and insecurity are a lie of the Devil! I'm amazing! Fearfully and wonderfully made! The God of the Angel Armies loves me enough to send his son to this sinful Earth to die the death of a criminal on my behalf. I have no choice but to turn to him for help, and I am called to do no less.

I will praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
You are who you are
no matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
you hold in your hands
You've never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm.

232

2008-05-12T01:06:00.000-07:00

Thanks, mom, for being amazing. Just thought I'd say that first.

Second, today was fun. I got to go to church at the time I wanted to go, revise my paper, make more friends, hang out at the rock wall, talk to my parents and chill with a bunch of people I've really connected with over the last few weeks. I get really good vibes from them, not that I don't from everyone else, but we're really ridiculous, an attribute to which I am told I'm a catalyst.

One other thing that's really cool: I really am comfortable with being ridiculous. I walk around without shoes most of the time, slap-five to random folks I come across, and dance and do cartwheels at dinner. It's a lot of fun, and even more fun when people say "Brandon, stop, you're embarrasing yourself." Which really means "Brandon, stop, you're embarrassing me." That is the best feeling ever, when you have control over someone's comfort level like that.

I certainly recognize that there are times to behave certain ways. For example, if I were to do cartwheels down the aisle during my mother's piano performance next weekend, I'm pretty sure that aside from getting to do cartwheels no good can come of it.

But when you're standing in a line to get movie tickets without shoes on and the person you're with turns to you and says "Would you please put your shoes on? It's really gross and embarrassing," I just love that moment where I can smile and say "Nope, I'm good" and just bask in the moment that I control that person's emotions.

Could be bad...

But it's funny :-D

231-GROSS

2008-05-10T15:40:00.000-07:00

It's warm here, but cloudy and is threatening rain. Thankfully I've got another day to study up on school stuff, because Monday is midterm day. SICK.

This weekend being Mother's Day, this university pretty much died. In my walk to the library today to work on a paper I saw one person, and there's normally people out and moving by 1 in the afternoon on a Saturday. The weather isn't awesome either, so maybe that has something to do with it.

I feel like I'm having an off-day. I think I know what my issue is, but I can't seem to pin it down completely.

OH. Today was my first day in three days that I had coffee, which proves that I can DEFINITELY function without it. Strange thing is that I felt pretty good until about two hours ago. I guess I crashed. Maybe I need to dump this stuff completely...we'll see what happens.

I'm off to do some exploring to relieve myself of the ever nagging feeling that I really should be studying. I've done a fair amount already, so I feel justified.

Golly, it looks gross outside.

Where are all the people!?

229

2008-05-09T18:52:00.000-07:00

As a part of my Resident Advisor class I was mandated to pay for a personality test, specifically the Meyer-Briggs Type Indicator, or the MBTI for short, because everyone loves acronyms. I have so many acronyms floating around in my noggin that I wonder how I remember them all.

So I'm an ENFP: Extraverted-Intutitive-Feeler-Perceiver. I have taken this test before, and when I took it then I was an ESFP, which means I was sensory instead of intuitive. Either way, I'm right on the line in between the two, with a slight inclination toward intuition. I can't say I'm surprised, because I knew I had changed in that area.

Sensors and intuitives basically take in information in different ways. Here's the difference: intuitives tend to take a big picture approach to information, then filling in the gaps with facts and figures. Sensors do things the opposite way: they take in all the little tidbits of information and build up to the big picture using those facts.

I was in class today taking notes and had this in mind. I found myself writing down the main idea, then just listening to the statistics without writing them down, because I've always taken notes this way. That doesn't mean the minute details don't matter, because they do. But they support the big picture, which is what I'm interested in.

The other thing I want to talk about (surely you all know that I'm an extravert) is the clearest segment of my personality. While I did have high scores in Extraversion and Feeling (I make my decisions through compassion and identifying with people. I know. Another shocker,) the most clear segment of my personality was perceiving. This means, simply, that I don't plan things. I don't like schedules because I find them limiting. I want to take life as it comes instead of being overly prepared to deal with every problem that may come up. "P" could also stand for procrastinator :-P.

I've talked a fair amount in this blog about taking life as it comes and how schedules and goals limit life as it was meant to be lived. While I still really enjoy this approach to life, I must apologize to those who want to live life differently than I do. You are living life no less by scheduling it out.

I still like spontanaeity :-D it lets you go outside when it's sunny and get sunburnt while rock climbing shirtless in one of the most beautiful spots I know.

228

2008-05-07T13:37:00.000-07:00

Within the course of the last few days, I've come to a realization about myself. It has come about that in more than one case I have been somewhat of the go-to guy in times of crises. So I sit in my broken, no-armed-no-backed rolley chair and I listen intently until they're done talking. Which would mean that it becomes my turn to talk at some point. However, I find myself without words with which to comfort the distressed.

I've never had a girlfriend, and thus I've never had to deal with the termination of a romantic relationship. My parents love eachother and have for more than 23 years, which means there's no divorce that I've had to deal with, and thus no jumping in between homes. I don't really get angry even when provoked, I've never done drugs, and my high school seemed devoid of drama.

And so when it comes time to say "I know what you're going through," I can't, because that would be lying. As a result, what I end up saying is "I don't know what to say. I've never experienced anything like that, and I can't imagine what you're going through."

In some cases this is adequate, because really the person came to talk to me because they knew I would listen. In other cases my response merely makes the situation seem worse. Then they talk some more. I ask questions, then listen to their responses.

I know I'm supposed to love them like Jesus, that I don't have all the answers to life's questions. But I really just have nothing to say. I feel that nothing I can say can make them feel better about their situation.

I know I can't solve every problem, but I at least want to help the person enough to where they can leave the room and feel glad that they came in to spend time with me, even if their problem isn't solved.

On the flip side, some people have been through some pretty lame experiences. I don't have to have gone through them to know that they suck. I just wish I had something more constructive to say to them.

Jesus loves you, this I know / For the Bible tells me so
Little ones to him belong / They are weak, but he is strong

226-RANDOM

2008-05-05T21:17:00.000-07:00

Slow down, you're crazy child,
Take the phone off the hook and disappear for awhile.
It's alright, you can afford to lose a day or two.
When will you realize Vienna waits for you?

I love this segment of the Billy Joel song "Vienna." Vienna is a metaphor for the rest of your life, and it's about people that spend their whole life worrying themselves to death about their direction in life, living life like a checklist of things to do. Terrible. At least to me.

This coming from the guy who climbs his body into a hole and hikes until he can't anymore.

Anyway, today is Cinco de Mayo. Which in America is really just an excuse to shoot tequila and eat copious amounts of Mexican food. I used to know what Cinco de Mayo meant. I know it's not the Mexican Independance Day. I seem to recall there being something to do with peasants defeating an invading army, which would have likely been French or Spanish, but I don't know for sure.

I was going to do a post on immigration, but I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say within the course of the last eight hours.

It had something to do with loving people.

224-Gotta Say, I'm a Little Confuzzled...

2008-05-03T20:09:00.000-07:00

Upon a reheat of my coffee, I heard a loud *POP* and opened the door to the microwave to find coffee dripping from the ceiling of said appliance...random.

I have done just about nothing today. No, really. I took a rest day. A real Sabbath. Which for me is just about unheard of. I don't know what I think of it, because I mostly just felt tired. I took a nap, read a bunch, cleaned my desk out, listened to the music I wanted to listen to (my roommate is out of town,) and basically just thought about stuff.

Words cannot express the beauty I see when I look out my window. It rained all day. The fog blanketted the hills surrounding the university. I don't remember watching anyone walk past the football field that I can see. But as I finished my chapter of Soviet history, I looked out the window to see the sun hitting the tree tops, the sky turning pink in the fading light. Birds started chirping. Oh my, leaving this place will be hard! I only have a month and a half left, too.

I had one of my moments. One of the times in which I could just forget life and go do whatever I wanted without the concern for money and prior obligations. I have decided I don't really want stuff. I'll hang on to my bass, my guitars, my computer, and my iPod. Maybe I'll keep my truck. Meh. It's just stuff. It'll burn in the end. I still believe the real treasure of this life is centered in God-centered experiences and relationships.

Having a conversation with my friend at breakfast, I was asked what I was going to do when I graduate. It was the coolest thing ever to be able to say "I dunno. I go where I'm led" and actually mean it.

I'm so excited for life! I have no idea where I'll end up. But this next year is going to be AMAZING! I'm so content with life. I've got it made.

223-Kinda Grey

2008-05-02T19:02:00.000-07:00

Today was somewhat of a low point in Brandon's spring quarter. I've been riding high for a really long time, so a tiny fluctuation in the amazingness could be counted as a low point. Anyway. I feel like I'm back on top of things. I would, however, like to find some good old fashioned fun tonight that doesn't involve sitting in front of a screen watching a movie.

I found out today that the United States is continuing to blow stuff up. I really struggle with this. Think of it however you want, in terms of U.S. citizens saved, or Somalian's killed. People are still dying.

I learned the other day that the United States develops $1.5 billion in debt a day.

Why can't we stop blowing stuff up and focus on feeding people?

222- Hey! Three Twos, One More Waste of Bandwidth

2008-05-01T19:50:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't written too much in the last few days, and that's because not too much has happened. It's been not-raining for the last few days, so I've done a lot of being outside and goofing off. Rock climbing has worn me out and at the moment I'm genuinely tired of it. The last time I felt like this though, I was about to break V2, so I think I'm on the cusp of V3 (difficulty rating of bouldering routes, I think they go to V17...just so you know how terrible at this I am.)

I guess that an update on me would be that while I am having SO much fun this quarter, I'm having to work out some things and make some decisions about my future that I don't really want to make. I'm having to rely on God a TON and just follow where he's taking me, and trust him more than my own feelings and mind. I'll let you know what these things are when I have a more firm idea of what they look like and when I know what's going on with them.

Making friends everywhere. Man, I really love it up here. I'm going to miss it this summer.

I ate three pork carnitas for dinner. Which I shouldn't have done. But when the folks up here make something good, you eat as much as you can.

218 Part II

2008-04-27T20:49:00.000-07:00

Pastor Grant Fishbook made an interesting point today. He asked us what sermon we were going to preach this week. We'd like to think that no one elses opinion matters. That may be fine for a non-Christian. But if we Christ followers subscribe to that opinion, we're kidding ourselves. Our reputations and how we live do matter. A lot. We can say we love God all we want, but if our lives and actions don't reflect it, our faith is dead. Alluding to the "vine" analogy, such branches are cut off, thrown into the fire and burned.

This is something that I've had to think a lot about this year. I tend to meet people. Everywhere. And they need to know through my actions and words within the first five minutes of knowing me that I'm a really happy, really outgoing guy. More importantly, I have to reflect Christ to them.

So, I want to preach about love this week. And forgiveness that's only found in Christ. I want people to walk away from me at the rock wall, or my slackline, or whatever, feeling like they met someone that actually gives a hoot about them. And hopefully, they'll see me again, hop on the line, and I can help them know I stand for love in a world that could really care less most of the time.

218-My Body Always Seems to Hurt After the Weekend

2008-04-27T17:17:00.001-07:00

So I have some stuff to do. One of these things is a large amount of reading. I don't own the book, or I'd be reading right now. After dinner. I promise. I'll be in the library a very long time. It's not hard reading, actually. It was written by this guy looking for an adventure in the early 1930's, so he decided to relocate to the Soviet Union. I can't say that it was the best idea in the world, but had I been alive in the 1930's with the same ambitions as I do now, I would finish school and then do what he did. Which may have led to my end, but we won't go there.

My brother Evan and friend Simon came up on Friday night. It was a really good time, and it was great having them up here. We played Settlers, which I didn't win, but to me was not about winning. It was about having 5 other people in my room at once and watching them all interact, which isn't something that flies on a normal weekend. Went on a hike the next day, and was really tired from that when we set up a slackline and screwed around in the grass for awhile.

Night came. I crashed.

Church this morning.

Then climbing.

then laundry.

Then this.

My back is sort of sore. I didn't realize that climbing worked the back so much. I am still trying to get my upper arms to equal each other. My right is bigger than my left, which to my in-some-ways-OCD self just isn't cool.

216

2008-04-25T09:10:00.000-07:00

I've been climbing, sometimes twice a day, for the last 6-7 days in a row. Goodness, I'm going to hurt myself. And yet I can't stop! I got a route last night that I have been trying the last 3 weeks, so I finally just said "I'm not leaving until I get this one," since they swap out the holds and the routes on that section Saturday. It felt amazing to finish that one.

So it's a hazy, bright morning in Bellingham. It's looking like it's gonna clear up and I'm not gonna take a break today either.

Nothing epic to talk about today. I'm sorry, I feel myself thinking, but I have no idea what about...

214

2008-04-23T09:20:00.000-07:00

I really should just stop. Really. One of these days my body is just going to not want to move anymore. And still I have yet to feel direct pain as a result of my activity. So I'm gonna keep going today and see where that takes me.

This quarter is going SO fast. Way faster than I want it to. Six and a half weeks left of school...then I've got to pack up the Chevy and roll on out of here. There's nothing wrong with that, but I'll be anxious to get back up here in early September, even if it is for RA training. Money's gonna be tight FOR SURE. COME ON tax return, I need you buddy!

Can I just say here, though, that I have pretty much felt amazing the last few weeks, with the exception of one or two low points. I'm out having fun, learning cool things (even if my political science class feels like I've been returned to high school due to its formatting,) meeting a ton of really cool people in this really beautiful place. My body is in that constant state of good-sore. Man, Bellingham is RAD.

I think happiness is directly proportional to the amount of sun.

Today I still feel good, but it's kinda gross outside. That's ok though, because yesterday it was about 60 degrees and bluebird.

WOOT.

212

2008-04-21T20:30:00.000-07:00

Some of you may know that whatever literature I choose to read tends to fall within the realm of utopian discourse. Novels like 1984 and Farenheit 451 are a few of my favorites. The reason I like them: They take situations that many would consider ideal and switch the perspective around to fit someone who finds the world in which they live utterly terrible.

Such is the argument for a theocracy. I've heard numerous times that the founding fathers of the United States had God in mind when designing our Constitution and that people originally came to this country to worship free from the tyranny of the Anglican church. I don't feel these two aspects of American history are entirely accurate, but that's not my argument. My argument is this: THANK GOODNESS this country isn't a theocracy. And may it never until God takes us home and rebuilds this place.

Some may feel it beneficial to all to make the Bible our Constitution. That's actually what sparked this in my mind. There are people running around these days claiming to fly the flag of Christ that are showing up to funerals of soldiers that were killed in action in Iraq. There may seem to be no harm in this. However, when you're hanging out in the back waving a sign around that says "God Hates Fags," we've got issues. Granted, the Bible that I know exhorts us to love others like Christ loves us and has nothing to do with what these folks are claiming. However, should a theocracy be our chosen form of government here on earth, the government could get behind something like that if they felt it were justified enough.

I'm just saying. It could happen.

But the main issue I take with this is on the issue of corruption. If, theoretically speaking, everyone in the United States was evangelical Christian, Catholic, Muslim, Bahai, what have you. Someone has to be at the top of the ladder leading the country. You may even have a council of some kind. This is beside the point. As long as there is sin in this world, people will make stupid decisions. People let power get to their head, no matter how holy they seem to be, or how holy they try to be. That is human nature.

I had a professor tell me we are all fundamentally good the other day. My mind said an emphatic no. This world seems to have so much to offer, so much that we can see and touch and feel. And that is precisely why God's heaven and New Earth are the only way this could ever work. When all corruption is gone and it's destruction is entirely evident. When God's sent Satan packing and all of his wily ways to the bottom of the freakin' lake of fire.

Under these circumstances, and these circumstances only will a God-honoring theocracy actually work, and only then will everyone actually be ok with it. Imagine that...

Utopia without a dissenting view.

I'm expecting comments on this one, so gimme whatever you've got, I'll do my best to explain my perspective.

A thought on 212, but not the big post to which I referred earlier

2008-04-21T09:17:00.000-07:00

I was looking through the online NY Times this morning so I could know what was going on in the world, when I noticed a topic near and dear to my heart right on the front page. Jimmy Carter talking to Hamas.

Ok. A few things come to mind here. Some good, some bad. I'll start with the good, and I have about 10 minutes to communicate this, so I'm sorry if it's unclear.

The good: Jimmy Carter has a history of doing things like this, and while people fling him crap for his foreign policy while he was president, he tried, and I feel like he had something (or someone) working against him. Yeah. I'm a bit of a conspiracy theorist.

I feel bad for the Palestinians, and I think someone needs to advocate their position. Whatever God's plan is in this, they still need love, because he created them and loves them just as much as anyone. I'm glad someone seems to be (I suspect there's some political motive on the part of whichever candidate he is supporting [Obama?] who said at the beginning of his candidacy that he would be open to talks with anyone regardless of affiliation) loving them and interested in what they want.

The bad: I am by no means a fan of George Bush (there, I said it,) but I would like to know under what political authority Carter is acting, and as such what legitimacy his remarks actually have.

Carter is saying that Hamas would agree to the 1967 borders if approved by a vote amongst the Palestinian people.

Question: how does someone organize that? You have (last I checked) two separate Palestinian states as well as Israel itself. And they can't agree on anything anyway. How in the WORLD are you going to cover every (maybe not...) ethnic Palestinian in this vote? And even if you can organize it, what happens if the Palestinian vote doesn't agree with the 1967 borders? You now have an even more emboldened Hamas, working with a "mandate of the people."

Carter was President for awhile. That merit alone means he knows WAY more than I do. He knows what he's doing, but this seriously just looks like election season remarks against the Establishment. My guess is it's political.

I'll post something actually worth reading later today. Hopefully it doesn't amount to wasted bandwidth.

211- The Weekend

2008-04-20T22:44:00.000-07:00

I won't lie. I looked at this weeked thinking it would be really boring. Ya know. Things like snow in town tend to put a "damper" (pun intended) on things for guys like me that like to be outside and goof off.

I was wrong. And I was glad I was.

On Friday night, I was really bored until about 8:00, when I found out that I had places to be. I went and hung out at a friend's dorm, then it worked out that a friend from Vancouver came up for the night, so we went and chilled in town. I also introduced him to some of my homies up here, and we made a trip down to the grocery store at 1:00 AM.

Saturday I feel like I didn't do a whole lot, but I don't particularly remember feeling bored. I went and saw a movie called "Forgetting Sarah Marshall," which I shouldn't have gone and seen, which was immediately evident five minutes into the fim. I wouldn't recommend it at all, at least to people that care at all about what goes into their head.

Anyway.

This morning I did some work on a history paper, which I came back to throughout the day in between climbing at the gym with my friend Meagan, meals, and exploring and climbing Larrabee State Park with my friend Juliet. We found a really cool traverse route away from the water a bit so we didn't get the water noise, but it was definitely more relaxing than the rock gym. I love real rocks.

Oh. Here, I must give a shout out to the fine folks at REI. I bought a pair of leather lace-up climbing shoes there about a month and a half ago. I climb just about every day, and the thing with leather shoes is that they tend to stretch. When I bought the things, I kept this in mind, and my feet barely fit in them, and it hurt like crazy to walk. Enter today's experience. I went into REI to see what my options were on getting a pair that fit me, because I had been assured when I bought into REI that they stood behind anything they sold, and that if it wasn't meeting my needs it was a refund or exchange pretty much without question. Come to find out this is lifetime of the object in question. Golden. As a result, without any pestering, I was able exchange my beat up ones to get a pair that fit me and don't stretch as much. So KUDOS for sure. I worked retail for awhile, and that's not something that happens everyday.

Oh. One other thing. Everyone needs to know that Gardettos makes a bag that is entirely rye chips. You have no idea how exciting this is for me. I already had a bag earlier. I seem to recall a conversation where the flavor of the rye chips was thought to be based on the flavor of the items around it. NOPE. They're the same.

Ok. Interesting topic tomorrow. Maybe a bit edgy, and a little controversial, even for me.

Until then. Cheers.

209- Hunger

2008-04-18T09:20:00.001-07:00

Remember, I'm not a revolutionary. If the revolution happens, it will happen by itself. Lately, though, I've realized that I have an intense fascination with revolutionary action.

My mother and I were talking awhile ago about what kinds of events spark revolutions.

Hunger was one of them.

Mom told me "Especially if there're mothers involved. There are few things that cause you to do more than the thought of your children starving."

This is exactly what happened to cement the collapse of the Romanov Dynasty in Russia, February of 1917. Women rioting because they couldn't feed their kids.

Let's see where this goes.

208- Nothing Thoughtful Today

2008-04-17T21:30:00.000-07:00

So this is something I thought was a good idea that came from another blog I check often. It's basically just list of songs. I listen to them a lot, and they do various things to me, whether they make me want to jump off stuff (in a good way,) fling my hair around, inspire me to think, or just to relax. So if ya'll don't know these songs, look em' up.

Cheers.

1.) "Don't Stop Believin," Journey
2.) "Lifesong," Casting Crowns
3.) "We Didn't Start the Fire," Billy Joel
4.) "Accidentally in Love," Counting Crows
5.) "Blink," Blue Scholars
6.) "Long Road Out of Eden," The Eagles
7.) "Footloose," Kenny Loggins
8.) "How Can I Keep From Singing," Chris Tomlin
9.) "Awakening," Switchfoot
10.) "Mexico," James Taylor
11.) "Open Your Eyes," Snow Patrol
12.) "Light Up the Sky," Yellowcard
13.) "Leningrad," Billy Joel
14.) "The Saints Are Coming," U2 and Green Day

207

2008-04-16T16:01:00.001-07:00

As I await dinner and the climbing adventure scheduled for afterwards, I figured I'd put in a word just for the sake of doing so.

I have realized as of late that I don't particularly like being pressured into things. I'm not talking about assignments given to me by my professors, and if I was employed I would gladly do the work placed in front of me by my employer. No. I'm talking about things of the non-mandatory nature such as, playing Spoons. I had this confront me the other night. There is nothing wrong with playing Spoons. However. I was fine with being an observer. Really, I just didn't want to play. Some around the circle were not ok with me not playing. As they implored me to play, stopping short of grabbing me by the arms and yanking me into the circle, my resolve only strengthened.

I have had this come up with numerous things. Going to the movies. Basketball. Halo matches.

Some nights I am ok with just chillin'. Others I may want to go out someplace and do something. Some nights a movie just doesn't sound like fun.

I seem to recall a similar attitude in my father while on Douglass-Adent-Tai family retreats to the beach. He just wanted to sit and read his book. Not go wander around in the sand. Not throw a football around. Not play a card or board game.

He just wanted to sit and read his book.

He didn't mind people asking him to do things. He did mind when people didn't respect his answer. He didn't like having to respond a certain way, especially under duress, in order to shut up whoever was bugging him.

This was fine. It's simply a character trait of his, and my dad is amazing. In fact, once I was old enough to figure it out, this particular trait worked in my favor much of the time. I am not exactly a fan of the beach, so I didn't mind just because it gave me an excuse to not go to the beach. I didn't realize I was like this as well until I started to get heated when someone wouldn't leave me alone.

"Nope. I'm hiking."

"Why don't you want to go to the movies with us, Brandon?"

"Because I want to hike."

"But I heard this movie is REALLY good and we REALLY want you to come. Give me a reason you won't go."

"OK. FINE. I'll give you three. 1.) I won't know you better at all after I've spent $10 to sit through 2 hours of mind-numbing, brainwashing, typical Hollywood-know-nothing media. 2.) I don't have $10, nor am I willing to waste two hours of my life pretending that I want to be in a movie theater. 3). I'm going hiking."

"Ok, whatever. You're such a party pooper." (They say this thinking they're going to change my mind, when really, I'm just glad they've stopped bugging me.)

Hint. If you've had to pull out the name calling, you've already lost. So don't go there. Someone who knows me can generally tell when my resolve is going to break, so they know when to quit and when to keep going. I generally do this weird wincy-teeth clench thing.

I am not by any means being anti-social in not accepting your offers for activity. By all means, keep asking me to do things. I love being with people, and I would rather be thought of than not. Just know that asking me twelve times isn't going to change my mind if I am not into a particular activity.

I just thought I'd make ya'll aware that I'm aware of this tendency. I don't like how I deal with it all the time, because I could certainly be more tactful and loving at times. I'll work on it. In the mean time, just know that it's nothing against you should I decline an invitation.

There. That was more involved than I thought it would be.

A topic is burning, and I've been formulating for about the last week, and I'm about ready to express it. Look for it within the next few days.

purely experimental extra 206 written on 207

2008-04-16T00:03:00.000-07:00

check this out. It's Blanchard Mountain's "don't log me" website. I really just wanted to see if I could create a hyperlink without the full link written out.

I'm wiped out today. I want to thank the new readers who have commented. Keep em' coming. I'm really glad that ya'll think enough of this to spend time reading what a goof-ball 21 year old college kid has to say about the world as he sees it.

Cheers.

Brandon

206

2008-04-15T11:24:00.000-07:00

So I got online this morning to do email and goof off as my roommate sleeps 10 ft away from me. It's 11:25, which means he really should be awake.

Anyway.

I can't remember if I've ever posted anything pertaining to my stance on the environment, so I'll start with that.

I love trees, the forest, and the mountains. I think it's a shame that some people can't grasp the beauty of a sunset, crave the serenity of a forest, the humbling feeling that comes with standing at the top of a craggy 1000 ft cliff. I believe nature was one of God's gifts to his children. Hey, that's us! And I think it's a bummer that we don't put more emphasis on preserving that natural beauty. So, to answer your question, yes, I hug trees. However, I've not about to put a hammock up there with a bullhorn and shout obscenities at anyone that tries to cut me down. I recognize that as a nation, we need lumber. It's a basic material need. Unfortunate, I know, but that's how it is.

So my basic idea is preserve nature as much as you can without hurting anyone. I myself have some work to do to lessen my impact on creation, and I plan for this summer is to drive as LITTLE as possible. This may involve public transportation, riding my bike everywhere, and so on, but it'll make me healthier, and my parents are paying into public transportation anyway, so I may as well use it.

The problem is where to draw the line.

G-Dub (my favorite name for our president,) has put off adopting the Kyoto Protocol because it would effect the United States economy too much (what does that tell you? We've got an economy that depends largely for it's pollution to exist.) This could hurt people's lives a lot. But if this whole global warming thing is legit (I tend to ere on the "we have to be effecting the climate somehow" side, but I'm not at all a climatologist so I won't pretend to know what's going on. Al Gore drives me nuts, too,) it's going to effect their lives a whole lot more long term if the climate change doesn't favor the production of oranges in Florida. Or if the fishing industry tanks (pun intended) because the temperature of the ocean water changes, thus killing more fish, that's going to result in the layoffs of fisherman, the reluctance of big companies to invest in fishing boats, and for the normal family that just likes to eat fish (Mom makes good fish. Fish in the dining hall has to be fake,) it's going to drive prices up, so grocery stores won't sell as much, so they won't stock as much, and SO-ON-AND-SO-FORTH as I fondly remember my Grammie Adent saying.

Or we could just be careful how much gas we use, what we dump into the ocean, how many trees we cut down, and what we release into the air. Make sense?

Ya'll may have heard me say "I'm not a revolutionary. The revolution, if it happens, will happen on it's own." Today, I wanted to make an impact and actually do something for Washington. The mountain containing miles of trails and home to places like the Oyster Dome and the Bat Caves (really COOL rocks!) known as Blanchard Mountain is slated to be logged soon. For some dude in Olympia (or wherever) who has never been up there and seen the San Juans from 2000 ft on a clear sunny day, that may mean nothing but profits, but to me it means the loss and destruction of the natural beauty found there. The plan to to put a network of logging roads throughout the mountain, and it's perfectly legal because it's not a part of nearby Larrabee State Park or a part of the Chuckanut trail system.

However, it's Washington State land, and as a citizen of Washington State I have a right to protest the destruction of these trails. It looks like the logging is gonna happen anyway, but it's worth a shot, right? Someones secretary will read my letter, then toss it into the ol' "circular filing cabinet." Then they'll write some bull-crap letter telling me how much they appreciate my input on this issue, but the logging will continue as planned.

But at least I'll be able to say I did something about it.

Day 204, written on 205

2008-04-14T00:07:00.000-07:00

The weekend is drawing to a close.

I spent Saturday, which was gorgeous, by the way, hiking with a friend in the Chuckanuts up to Raptor Ridge, to which I have been probably four times, but I love it each time I'm there. It's different hiking with someone. It doesn't seem to take as long to get anywhere, and it was way easier to make it up the massive mile-long hill coming up from the trailhead than just by myself. I actually sort of felt like a wimp, because I was hiking with a girl who had been backpacking with her family since forever.

Saturday night I skateboarded a while, but then came back to the room, played guitar, hung out with friends and watched Platoon, a movie about the Vietnam War. It's great if you like war movies and know that they don't accurately show what happened, but not great if you don't particularly like violence or human rights violations and tend to take people's word for things. The film really showed how much the media can influence someone's feeling on a war about which they previously knew nothing. It seemed like we only made it about half hour into the movie before people were asking "Wow, this is terrible, what were we even there for?!" Samuel Barber's Adagio for Strings provided a nice backdrop to Willem Dafoe (who was seemingly the only soldier with a conscience) being shot up by the North Vietnamese Army.
Anyway. Bedtime around 2 AM.

Woke up this morning to a moist ground. Lame. "Wet rocks. Rock climbing is out" I told myself as I drove to church. "Good. Maybe I'll actually get something done."

Driving back from church, I noticed that everything was dry. I called Meagan, and rock climbing was back in. We went down to Larrabee and explored a bit, then settled on a nice big boulder with a traverse route (moving sideways across the rock instead of upwards) that was about ten feet away from the water. After attempting the same route for about an hour (real rock doesn't get boring the way plastic rocks do) we finally called it quits, bone tired and holding each other accountable to resting tomorrow no matter the weather. I'm gonna have to get a few more bandanas though, my red one is feeling iffy to wear every day.

Dinner, Batman Begins, guitar, bass, and journaling. I am currently sitting in front of my computer at 12:30 AM eating cookie dough with a spoon and thinking about sleeping while laughing hysterically at a picture into which Peter photoshopped Robbie's face.

Oh My.

Good night.

202

2008-04-11T21:28:00.000-07:00

I climbed my first real rocks today. I didn't really have that much happen besides that. I was up at about 7 to take my friend Megan to the train station.

Went to Starbucks to study, read the paper and have coffee. It was a good way to start the morning.

Class. Went to the rock wall, then spontaneously decided with my friend Meagan (different friend) to go climb real rocks up on Sehome hill. I liked it so much that after slackline (on which I destroyed myself by taking a six foot shot to the hip and catching the line with my calf on the way down on another occasion.) We went to Larrabee State Park in search of rocks to climb. It was a blast! found some really cool formations and discovered another way to meet with God in nature.

SICK. I posted a few pictures.

That's basically it.

200! Part II

2008-04-09T23:34:00.000-07:00

I was in my small group today for Core. We were discussing Acts, which, for those of you who don't know, I point to for validation of some of my Marxist beliefs. I, being the person that I am, pointed out somesuch thing in a verse that said something about members of the early church sharing everything and doing so willingly, with one heart and mind.

Everyone kind of chuckled and said "I knew you were gonna say something like that."

Someone contested me, someone who had obviously never read Marx and didn't know that Marx envisioned a society in which this willful sharing of property occured.

Thanks, Lenin and Stalin, for wrecking utopia. You've given the world a distorted view of communism that no one in their right mind can support.

:-D

Cheers

200!

2008-04-09T19:36:00.000-07:00

For the two-hundredth post, I've decided to talk about some political stuff. So if you don't care, you can deal with it, or you can not read. Your choice.

There are some things that can't go on being ignored. And there certainly are some attrocities for which people, or governments, should NEVER be rewarded.

In western Sudan, in a region known as Darfur, centuries-old ethnic and tribal divisions have bubbled to the surface with acts referred to by our own President of the United States as "the g-word": genocide. Do you know how hard-core it is to accuse someone of genocide? Imagine the implications! You don't say "the g-word" unless you've got evidence. Solid evidence. Such things deter most countries in our modern times to do things they ordinarily would not, such as refusing to do business regardless of the resource which it chooses to extract. However, China has chosen to ignore the atrocities of the Sudanese government and instead invested in the African nation, building things like roads and means to extract the oil with which Sudan was blessed in exchange for the oil China needs to fuel it's economy (it is shifting to oil from coal. Gas prices aren't goin' down, folks.) Action has been attempted at the international level in the United Nations Security Council. However, China holds veto power as a P5 member (I'll explain this to anyone who cares) and refuses to sanction Sudan or allow the UN peace keepers into the country without Sudanese consent.

The Three Gorges Dam is to be the largest hydroelectric power station in the world when it becomes fully operational in 2011. However, 1.5 million Chinese landowners and citizens have had to be relocated due to the subsequent flooding in the region. Oh. And arable land is PRIME real estate in China. It comprises 10-ish% of Chinas land, and the food produced is somehow enough to feed over 1 billion people. The land that has been flooded is a part of that arable land

An economy run largely run on coal has polluted the air.

Then there's the whole Tibet thing, which I don't fully understand, so I won't pretend to. WHat I do know is that Tibetans are a people who have been long oppressed by the Chinese government, who still refuse to grant the Tibetans autonomy.

Not to mention the persecuted church (on which I also have no statistics and don't really want to take the time to dig them up.)

So what does the U.S. as one of the most powerful countries in the world do? We'll be at the Olympics. No sweat. As long as China and the U.S. continue to do business, there's no debate.

I'm over-simplifying this, but there really does come a point when we have to do something. I don't have all the answers. But when the whole WORLD recognizes something is wrong, why are we legitimizing China's actions? Economic gain. What else is new.

People have always been trying to douse the Olympic torch, but it's never been publicized like this before. I won't watch the Olympics anyway. But for once, I hope they succeed in putting out the Olympic flame. I just wish G.W. had the guts to make some sort of stand against China in this situation. I think it would hurt economically, but it won't happen, right?

So I can ignore the reprocussions of that which won't take place.

199

2008-04-08T19:46:00.000-07:00

Climbing. I know that this must being getting old by now, but it's become one of my passions within the last few weeks, so I like talking about it.

It is nice to say that I can finally climb worth anything now. I'm still not good, but I've been able to get several routes that have taunted me for the last week.

However.

I notice that while my body is under the strain of clinging on to a hold barely large enough to fit my fingertips while trying to yank myself from under an overhang to another hold of a similar size, I tend to swear. Usually the "d-word" or the "s-word." "Junk" is another one, but that's not necessarily a curse word. This bugs me for a few reasons.

1.) I can't stop doing it, and I think that the things which we do under stress reflect our hearts more than when we have everything under control.

2.) It makes pulling myself up to the next hold easier, thus reducing my incentive to quit saying these things.

All the while, I can't help but think: who decided which words were bad and why? How is mumbling "s--t" under my breath when my arms are screaming at me to let up worse than calling someone an idiot and genuinely meaning what I say? It's not hurting anyone, and it makes me feel better.

Theoretically, it may help to call on God in that moment, but at that point, my arms REALLY hurt, and my focus is on the next hold, rather than on genuinely asking for God's help. I suppose I'm not sure I can sincerely say a prayer in 1.6 seconds. Or whether God would actually strengthen my body just so I could have the satisfaction of finishing a route I've been trying for a week.

I feel myself trying to rationalize it, but that just isn't going to cut it. Because what happens if Brandon is guiding a raft down the Snake River this summer with ten (or however many) middle schoolers on his raft, things get tight negotiating a path down the river, and I let fly with one of my words? Not exactly the best spot to be in, especially because as a Christian I am called to be different than the world.

Still.

Who decided which words were bad? I was raised that way. I don't think most people question things like that. It's what, however many generations of not saying this word. That's how we're socialized.

I'm not trying to justify it (yes I am, I think to myself,) but it's a good question. Many words today, one of which is CRAP, used to be considered one of these words. It's not anymore. Unless you talk to older people who still think it is. But as a result, we just don;t say it when we're around them. I can;t remember if I've ever said "crap" around my Grammie Adent.

I say it around my Grandpa Douglass.

Because he says it himself.

197

2008-04-06T19:47:00.000-07:00

This morning was really hard.

I rose from my blankets out of obligation rather than joy and anticipation of the day to come. Not exactly the way to start the day. Church was a bit of a chore, which blows, because it shouldn't be. The pastor said some things that made me think, but mostly in the way that I didn't want to. Ways like "When's this guy gonna be done talking?" and "I'm not sure I agree with what you just said. Especially because you didn't show me any scripture to assure me that you didn't talk off the top of your head." I remember statistics, but not the points they were intended to prove. He spoke with a passion that scared me more than excited me. I was glad to not have to listen to him talk anymore.

So that would be my morning.

Got back and embarked on a two hour journey to the College Store, Rite Aid, REI, and Haggen, albeit mostly out of boredom. I walked around looking at backpacks, waterbottles, bikes, socks, webbing, rope, and the vast assortment of climbing gear. I've definitely got to pick cheaper hobbies. Getting into rock climbing is rough on the budget. Harness: at least $50. 60 m of climbing rope: $207. Carabiners: at least $6 a piece. Even if I want to avoid all that and just boulder (climbing generally below 15 ft without a harness or gear) all the time, I could just buy a crash pad, which is still right around $150-200. *sigh* If only our bodies could take 1500 foot falls and walk away every time. I did walk out of the store with a bandana to keep my hair out of my eyes while hiking and climbings so I could not cover my whole head with a hat. No. I know what you're thinking. I will not get a haircut. It will take more than hair in my eyes to make me do that.

Otherwise, I bought my other textbook *eek* and wandered around Haggen killing time with Peter. I'm doing pretty well at pinching pennies this quarter. It's all about rationing things. Not eating at will. So on and so forth. I will say though, I am SO SICK of dining hall food. Words cannot express this sentiment to those who have not themselves felt it.

I'm thinking of making coffee, since I have lots of that, but I'm not thinking I want a buzz at 9:30 in the evening. So I'll probably skip that one.

Oh. Found out I got a jury summons. Stupid. Oop. Did I say that? Ok, well it's only because it gives me one more thing to worry about. I also got one a little under a year ago, and it irritates me to think that they've got me on some sort of stupid schedule. They can say it's random. Bull crap. I wasn't born yesterday. My last name starts with AD. I've been first on the list for everything for as long as I can remember. I sat in the left front corner for every elementary school class because the teacher was too lazy to create a seating chart. I went first for every class presentation. My name is the first on the roll-call, which means that if I'm absent, the teacher immediately knows it was me. It's a conspiracy. Doggone it.

I guess that doesn't explain why my mom hasn't ever gotten called for jury duty.

But it seems like my Grammie Adent always has jury duty.

Yes. My argument does have validity.

I promise.

I Screwed Yesterday Up...Today is 195

2008-04-04T19:02:00.001-07:00

Journey of Desire. The time has come for me to tell you what I thought. I literally finished three minutes ago and I have a lot on my mind about it. Keep in mind that I do not review books, so try not to dislike me too much if you have read this and disagree with me. I am also condensing 212 pages of text into four paragraphs, which by no means does the work justice, but I don't want to re-write the book either.

First, a general overview. It was written by John Elderidge, whom I suppose is a well known counselor and author. This book is set up in somewhat philosophical terms. He banks a lot on such writers/ thinkers as Pascal, T.S. Eliot, and C.S. Lewis, but he did a pretty good job of keeping his sources diversified. He also relied a TON on scripture, which was awesome, and it's interesting to read what people get from things that I may not pick up on.

Topic-wise, it's about...well...desire. The longings that each of us have as a result of whatever circumstances. A fair amount of time, about 3/4 of the book, is spent showing that desire is God-given, and shouldn't be fought like most people have learned to do since we often get discouraged by having our hopes thwarted by the world, or even God himself. Many people find "imposters," as Elderidge calls them, to fulfill these desires. For example, if a man wants intimacy, he could obviously turn to something like pornography and other types of sexual sin to feel the void that a lack of intimacy has left in his life. This is made pretty clear throughout the book, so there isn't any sort of confusion following this.

The whole point is that it's OK to have these desires. God gave them to us for a reason, and although we realize that due to the Fall as described in Genesis our attaining perfect life is just not going to happen, it's ok to pursue these desires, as long as the God-given desires do not take precedence over God himself. Elderidge ultimately comes to the conclusion that if we surrender our desires to God, he'll take you places you may not expect that may be ABOVE your desires. There's definitely an element of eternal perspective in this mixed in, knowing that following Christ is eventually going to mean paradise for eternity.

I'm a little shaky on the conclusion to which Elderidge comes, and to be honest I felt a little gyped, considering he told me something that I feel I already knew and have been told many times, though I am not sure I follow all the time. Through the whole thing, I felt like he was saying things I really identified with, and I'm thinking "Yeah! That's ME! Tell me what to do about it." And he did. And I didn't feel like I learned anything through his conclusion.

While I was a little bummed with his conclusion, I was really glad that I read this book. It helped me think. I basically have two HUGE desires for my life.

1.) Adventure. I need to see new things, to travel the world snowboarding, climbing, meeting new and different people. This is rather unrealistic due to monetary circumastances, I realize, but it's what I want. Badly. As much as I love Bellingham and can tolerate Vancouver and the Portland area, I will go crazy if I'm here forever.

2.) A girl with whom I can share my adventure. I just to think a golden retriever named Jasper and a Chevy full of gear would be all I needed to see this country. No. If I have to go through life without a wife, I will go crazy. There's no sense in denying this anymore.

SO. Thanks to some underlining that had been done (thanks, Mom. There were actually some points in the book that I wanted to break out my highlighter, which I decided against because I didn't want to wreck your book...) I was able to derive that a main point Elderidge was trying to make was "surrender." Not not caring. Nor was he trying to suggest giving up hope for something better. It's giving your desires to God, putting them in his hands, and watching him work with them, going where he takes you.

I can do that. I think. It's hard though.

There was one point at which I was slightly confused. Elderidge talked quite a bit about relationships and how many of us have given up hope of ever having one that works out the way it was designed to (I have now taken myself out of this category. I can't remember if I explicitly said that I was ever in it. I think it's day #169 or something that I talk about this in greater detail.) Of course, the author takes this moment to talk about sex and what it means, being a metaphor of eternal union with God (which kind of creeps me out in ways that I'll be happy to indulge within the privacy of an email.) It didn't seem to add to his main point.

Side note: while this didn't necessarily make sense to me, I have to say that I get this image of heaven being sort of an eternal worship service. Which...gonna be honest...sounds REALLY boring. I want to do things like go fast, climb things, jump off stuff, and so on without the side effect of getting hurt and aching all the time. I have visions of snapping my broken bones back into place and laughing hysterically at the fall I just took from 1500 feet climbing some crazy rock face without a harness. Who knows what heaven will be like. Anyway, the author brings this up, but doesn't really say anything to say it's not as boring as it sounds, probably because he's never been there and none of his friends who have have bothered report back (for good reason.) I was glad that he did mention it, but I had hoped he would talk more about it. Anyway.

That's a jumble of conclusions I came to. I don't know that I would recommend it highly as previously mentioned, but I would recommend it. It took the place of Mein Kampf in my reading, so now I should probably read the rest of that as well as my textbooks. Awww man!

Hopefully I can hike tomorrow.

Cheers.

193 I Think...

2008-04-03T19:32:00.000-07:00

This morning I found myself awake a little later than expected: 10:30 AM. This isn't too late I suppose, but I thought I would wake up a bit earlier. Anyway.

Headed straight to the gym to get my rock on. I have come to the realization that I can't climb anything. Like. At all. I've lost all the endurance I had and can't climb anything above a V0 (basically the lowest climbing level) and I was able to get V1s and V2s in Portland over break. My friend tells me I'm about to break a V1 and to just be patient. Yeah, well, tomorrow I have to rest, because my body hurts.

I went from the rock wall to lunch, then down to slackline for about an hour and half. I made a few new friends and had a lot of fun doing that.

Class time: which consists of two different class settings. One is the large group meeting and lecture, the other is a small group discussion time. I met the small group today, which was super fun. It's going to be a really cool group, and I laughed a lot.

This was pretty much my day. Now is the point where I sit in my room and think about all the people I could have said hi to and didn't, or all the conversations I could have started.

I thought a lot about the book I mentioned in an earlier post, The Journey of Desire. I read a segment last night that made me think like crazy. Well. A few segments. I'll outline them later. I'm about halfway done. Lemme tell ya, I'm going to have some thoughts. I am going to go out on a limb and tentatively recommend this book highly. It's got a lot of things I see myself in.

193- Sunshine Brings Out My Outgoing

2008-04-02T18:48:00.001-07:00

All I need to do to be reminded that I'm an extravert is watch my attitude towards other change when the sun comes out. I have been making extra efforts to meet people in the last few days, and I'm convinced it's the sun. When it's t-shirt weather, I am just a happier person and care more about meeting people.

Something else. There is a terrible element to awesome weather: the football team practices at about 6 AM. This means I hear team cheers, grunting, screaming, clapping, whistles blowing, and so on and so forth. I should gripe, but I don't know who to gripe to, because it won't change anything.

I have been to all of my classes at this point. I have decided that I've got it good this quarter. My Soviet history course is going to be AMAZING. The prof knows her stuff, has a great way of interacting with students, and a very dry sense of humor which I find highly entertaining in a professor. She reminds me of my first history professor, Dr. Katherine Sadler at Clark College in Vancouver, WA.

Class #2, Intro to International Relations, will be interesting. It's definitely something I identify with. I was a little irked when the professor said that we'd be reading the New York Times for all of our news. While I agree with the publication choice, I would rather read something else in ADDITION TO the New York Times. Everything has a bias, and NY Times is no less biased than anything else. Christian Science Moniter is actually pretty good too, though I am not as experienced in their ways and refuse to believe the words of their founder, Mary Baker Eddy. In addition to this irksome attribute of the class, there was also this simple realization that PoliSci 271 is DEFINITELY a GUR class, as well as a pre-req for anything political science, which I need to minor in the subject. Such. Freshmen. I know this shouldn't irritate me as much as it did, but when you're used to following the syllabus with the assumption that the professor knew what they were mandating with regard to the course assignments, you generally don't question their words or challenge their course requirements. When told to read the "A" Section of the newspaper everyday, a good question would NOT be "The 'A' Section is kind of lengthy, what specifically do you want us to read?" I got the feeling most people thought it would just be an easy GUR, and were bummed out when they found out they actually had to work for it.

The RA class. Yeah. Um. I don't know how good the class itself will be. But the people in it are AWESOME. As mentioned, and to anyone who doubted it, the person who's words you are now reading (whether you're reading is a good or a bad thing has yet to be determined) is an extravert. To the max. So. Throw him in a room with a bunch of extraverts and see what happens. HE DOESN'T SHUT UP. I tried really hard to meet as many people as I could and talked to as many people who would talk to me. Yeah. It was fun.

My back itches.

So, today was an interesting day. It was a lot of fun for the most part. However, there was one particular segment of which was mildly awkward. A middle aged man was holding up a giant sign in Red Square (brick courtyard in the middle of campus) that read "God is Angry at Sinners" and shouting various other things. Oh boy. Surrounding him was a crowd of students asking him questions and basically mocking him.

Dilemma for Brandon. As a Christian, how do I deal with this? I am a firm believer that while it may work sometimes, there are better ways to talk to people about God than to carry a confrontational sign like that. I would rather draw people to Christ by talking about things like love, forgiveness, and living these things out to the best of my ability, knowing the whole time that I'm still a sinner and don't deserve the grace that only God can give. I do my best to answer the hard questions that people have about my beliefs, and if I don't know, I'll tell my friend I don't know the answer to their question with the belief that it's better to be honest than make up some kind of bullcrap to avoid being vulnerable. My suitemate said that he asked one of the sign carriers questions at one point, and the guy was just blowing off questions he couldn't answer, telling his inquirers "Nope, you're wrong. Penalty box."

On the other hand, it should generally be assumed that this guy was my brother in Christ. That's serious business. Option #1: I could distance myself from the situation and play it safe (this is the one I chose when I heard the verbal abuse this guy was taking.) Option #2: Jump in and help. "Help what?" I asked myself. I can talk to people one-on-one and be relational, because that's my strong side (I was reminded of Moses and him saying he wasn't qualified to talk to Pharoah as I wrote this.) But these students were riled-up-mad at this guy, and I could see why. He was yelling at them. He was coming into people's lives, of which he knew nothing, and telling them the were going to hell if they kept up what they were doing.

I am not sure if I'm satisfied with the decision I made. Maybe next time I'll play it off differently.

I had a revalation. I really wish there was a footnote option for these things. It would be so much more helpful to the reader than parentheses. So if anyone actually reads this and knows if you can add footnotes let me know. I would like the information.

Cheers.

192

2008-04-01T12:47:00.000-07:00

I love Bellingham in spring. The sun shining this morning was a an absolute delight. So this is the Bellingham I've heard about.

Strangely, I find myself being bored a fair amount. My afternoon classes are going to keep me from hiking as much as I'd like to this quarter, which is going to be a bummer. I've been to the rock wall twice, and had a terrible time both times. I can't climb anything anymore.

I haven't had any classes yet, so we'll have to see what that does to the boredom level around here. There's a book that I have been reading called The Journey of Desire by John Eldredge, and it was recommended to be by my mother after a conversation following the same lines. Despite a poorly chosen title if you ask me, since it seems to allude to some white-trash romance novel, it's really an interesting book. I'll let you know how it goes. I'll probably wind up recommending it, but it's too early in the book to tell.

I should find something productive to do. Because there's no way that this is.

Day 190

2008-03-30T15:56:00.001-07:00

My last full day in town. Strangely, I think I'll miss it. I love Bellingham a lot, but I've done some hanging out in the last few days and really had fun.

I haven't done much otherwise. I'm hungry now, so I should probably go eat.

I'm really excited to climb tomorrow and not have to pay to do so. Very exciting. I do have to pay my room and board though... BUM DEAL. School has completely wiped out my bank account. I guess it'll do that.

188

2008-03-28T11:32:00.001-07:00

This is the part of being home that I have long dreaded: the point at which I have nothing to do.

I can think of people I'd like to hang out with, but I am certain of their unavailability. I would love to go bouldering today, but I don't particularly want to go by myself. I'll probably saddle up and go anyway.

I've been trying to follow the news more closely since I've been home. I have noticed that I follow it a bit more when I'm in Vancouver. Maybe for the lack of other things to do. Maybe because I have a giant awesome computer to look at and play with. Man, I want a Mac something fierce. Everything just looks better on them.

I am going to attempt at acquiring a mountain bike this weekend. We'll see how that goes.

I have noticed that since I have started climbing, joints that I didn't even know I had have been popping like crazy. There's a few at the base of my neck, my shoulder, my arms. I have a pretty good feeling that all the fun I had when I was in my 20's is going to catch up to me when I'm 80. Or 40.

Now I'm going to talk to my mom before I go to the rock gym. Alone. Lame. But better than sitting around here for the afternoon doing nothing.

187, Posting with Regard to 186

2008-03-27T11:44:00.000-07:00

Today was very boring until I received a call from my friend Jessica, just back from Australia. Sweet. Hang out.

Coffee was hilarious. Jessica was trying to teach us (Her cousin, her sister, and I) how to do a Tim-Tam Slam. It is basically this really random Australian thing where you suck up coffee with a cookie, then shove the cookie in your mouth before it falls apart. She neglected to tell me that it would fall apart should I fail to put it in my mouth in time. My coffee then became a nasty chunky mess.

Anyway, when the coffee meeting adjourned, I hadn't planned on being REALY bored again, so I went out to Jessica's place to watch a movie. The same people were involved as earlier, except another really loud and hilarious cousin of Jessica's, as well as Jessica's boyfriend. This presence of the significant other was actually not awkward at all, and I wish it were always that way.

The movie, "Blonde Ambition" as I recall it, was terrible. Just for the record. There wasn't anything dodgy in it. It was just BAD.

We then jumped into a car and drove around listening to Kanye West, whom I've decided I dislike immensely. Luckily towards the end of the car ride it was Josh Turner, which I know all the words too. Fantastic. And MCR, too, which I don't like as much but I got to fling around my flowing red locks, so that was fun.

When I left at about 1:00 it was snowing.

Bed at about 2:00. Woke up at about 11:00.

I'm sleeping pretty well here.

I should probably finish my coffee and go skateboard before it starts raining or snowing. It looks like the latter.

125, but 126 according to the date

2008-03-26T01:15:00.000-07:00

I'm tired, so I'll be brief.

Went climbing/bouldering today with my friend Tyler the Pirate. It was awesome to reconnect with him, since I haven't actually talked to him and spent time reconnecting in probably...well, the last time we went snowboarding. So last March sometime (WOW!) Anyway, that was a ton of fun. I got my workout and didn't feel like I wasted $10 for two hours at the rock gym. Sweet place. Lots of fun routes.

Just got back from readthrough/movie watching/party-ish thing. That was fun, movie was pretty boring until the end.

And now I sleep.

184

2008-03-24T21:04:00.000-07:00

Nothing especially awesome happened today. I woke up at about 10, showered (soaped this time, Ryan) and sat down at the computer with a rather large cup of coffee. I am so glad to have this luxury back.

Read that G.W. gave the OK to sell Kosovo weapons and actually yelled at him through my computer screen. Seriously. In a region of the world so characterized by violence, you'd think someone would realize it's simply not time to sell the them the tools to make it worse.

Tibet is starting to get pretty wild too. I'm pretty angry the U.S. has accepted the invitation and is OK with having the Olympics in China, actually. The consequences of appeasement may outweigh the benefits.

I should just stop reading the news. I only get riled up when I do.

Otherwise.

Summer plans. I am to be an intern at Glenwood Community Church this summer and will be working with the youth as they do raft camps and hang out, as well as whatever setup and errands in between. I'll be taking rafts full of high/ middle schoolers down a river full of white-watery goodness, as well as having a hand in the music there. Needless to say, I am SO excited. God totally dropped the opportunity in my lap, and it fits PERFECTLY what I want to do with my last summer before I graduate. So there's a praise.

Also, I will be getting money BACK this year on my tax return. Last year I owed money, which was lame because I didn't have any then. Now I have none, and I get some back. Sweet. Another Praise.

Didn't go anywhere. Just stayed at home, played music, and skateboarded. The plan is to go to the rock gym tomorrow, but we'll see what happens.

Day 183- Easter. All Day.

2008-03-23T22:55:00.000-07:00

Got up smokin' early this morning, which for me is about anytime before about 8. Regardless, the first thought that entered my mind was "Easter. Coffee."

Needless to say, I was so excited that I think I forgot to soap myself in the shower, but I put on deodorant, so while it may not have done the full deed, I did not receive any negative comments.

Anyway. Drank coffee. Read the newspaper. Life was awesome. Thank you Jesus for comin' outta that grave.

First service was early, at church by 8. A good Sunday. I got to see some old friends and reconnect a bit.

Next mission: clean the house. Not to say that it was dirty, but the last thing I needed to hear today was my mother (whom I had previously been made aware I was picking up from the airport) griping about a dirty house. So I cleaned. And did laundry. Fun.

Got Starbucks on the way to get my mother, because I knew I might as well get a shot of caffeine into my system. This kicked in about an hour later, while I was sitting in the international arrivals section of the airport reading "Mein Kampf" laughing at the nonsense it contained. I, as a result, was darned close to being SuperSon when my mother and sister arrived on the plane back from France an hour later than scheduled. Mom had lost her bag. I took the steps necessary in tracking down it's whereabouts. I carried things, I bought them coffee, and just tried to be nice and not talk about anything that was too involved. Like Hitler's transition to anti-semitism.

Just got back from a friend's house where a brew and a game were in order, where I tasted the much-discussed Anchor Porter, which I recommend HIGHLY. I lost the game though. When I saw what the board looked like, I just stopped caring and knew I didn't have a chance.

It's been a long day, and I'm tired.

I shall eat some of my parents food and retire for the evening.

182= 100 Posts This Year!

2008-03-22T09:59:00.000-07:00

I guess that means I've missed 82 days, but I don't care. Not enough to make 82 extra entries anyway.

I have no idea what I'm going to do today. I've received a few propositions in regard to evening activity, but I have yet to reconcile to actual events to unfold. Food is on the agenda. I have been thinking of pitching a trip to the Rhinelander to the fellas, but the time has yet to come when I decide to do actually anything about it.

Yesterday was Good Friday. I guess it's good for us in some sense of the word, and I suppose it allowed God to have a direct relationship with man, but boy is it sobering. That a perfect God would take human form and live in the muck and mire of this world, then die a brutal death by the hands of those he came to save just blows my mind.

Here's this - I chew on this every time I think of the crucifixion- If I were in the crowd in front of Pilot (spelled wrong but bear with me) knowing then what I know now (this being that Jesus was God incarnate, the Savior, who came to take all of my sins from me and sacrifice himself so that I could have a one-on-one relationship with the Father [which I take for granted sometimes]) what would my action be. I could run and hide like most of the disciples did. I could yell "Crucify!" along with the majority. I could merely be silently supportive of the actions of the crowd. If I protested for Christ's innocence. and somehow he was set free, our right to eternal life-after-death hangs in the balance.

I still don't know what I would do.

I want to put something else down here, though I'm not sure I have anything to say on the subject that actually makes sense. But I'm gonna go for it anyway. George Strait is playing.

I had a history professor- two, actually- that talked about anti-semitism and judeophobia this quarter (if you want to know the difference, I'll tell you sometime.) One strongly held that judeophobia's roots were religious in nature, that Christian Europe blamed Jews for Christ's death. This may have some validity to it. I tend to think it was economic due to the slight Marxist in me, but I didn't live in the time of the Crusades and before so I'm really not any authority of the subject. However. I hereby renounce this notion that the Jews and Jews alone killed Christ as wholly bogus. We're all sinful. Christ came-and died- to save US. EVERY. HUMAN. In that, we're all responsible for his death. If I'm spitting bologna, let me know.

Ok. Change of topics. An exciting opportunity came up for my summer which as most of you know was entirely up in the air. I will let you know when I've got a better idea of what it's gonna look like.

I am thinking of braving the non-farm grown eggs in the fridge to satisfy my hunger needs at this moment. I backed away earlier, but it may have to happen. The last I ate was about 10:30 last night (I made it 24 hours, though I had hoped to make it longer,) so I'm a little hungry.

Let me know if an event is unfolding this evening.

181. Writing from the 'Couve.

2008-03-21T11:16:00.000-07:00

The 'Couve. Oh my. It's a love-hate relationship really.

Drove in last night and went straight to the Mooch for an Oregon Burrito. And my, was it glorious. I had a pretty fun ride down, too, which isn't the norm, and I think what made it awesome was that no one complained. One of my passengers had been up for over 36-straight hours working on art projects, and the other passenger was a girl whom I had never met, but was super nice and talked most of the way.

Now, I'm sitting in my kitchen wanting coffee. Again. You'd think I'd be over this.

I now must embark on a mission to get a present for my sister's birthday. Which is today, and that I had forgotten about.

If anyone wants to climb some rocks, go on a hike, or go out for a brew, coffee or some-such activity, give me a call. The latter two I can't do tonight, though.

Anyway.

Cheers.

179

2008-03-19T15:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was interesting. I was basically moving all day long, which was good, because I hadn't really moved since Friday. I kicked my day off at about 10 with turning in my War and Peace final, then went straight to the rock wall. I was wiped out after about a half hour, but I made a friend who felt like pushing me, so I kept going. Two hours later, I was wiped out for sure. I went to lunch, then realized it was sunny and went on a hike. On the way back down, I randomly met some friends and we walked around looking for things to boulder. We didn't get any done, since all the rocks were wet, which makes things difficult. As a result, we slipped around like crazy while looking for spots.

I must here mention the Curse of the First Aid. My friend had Allison brought her first aid kit with her. I laughed at her prepared-ness, considering I always figured if I was gonna hurt myself hiking, it would be beyond what first aid could take care of. Turns out there's a tendency for those who make fun of Allison's first aid kit to need that first aid kit shortly after they make fun of it.

I laughed this off.

I did not expect to go blitzing up a path and not notice the dead branch sticking out into the trail until I hit it with my face. I felt the branch "boing" and I doubled over backwards. No one saw me fall, which was a bummer, but they heard all heard it. I sat up and thought I had destroyed my teeth. But no. It was my nose that was bleeding profusely. Allison had also been trained in first aid, so the bleeding stopped eventually while I laughed at my misfortune. Meanwhile, my lip has swollen up and bruised on the inside.

I arrived back on campus, and having missed dinner, made some Mac and Cheese. I won't go into details, but due to events which unfolded inbetween my returning and my dinner, I became increasingly irritated and grumpy. I've found out that a great way to relieve myself of tension and anger without blogging and saying something dumb is to take it out on something else, and preferably, while certainly not purposely, hurt myself in the process. Simply put, this keeps me from hurting others verbally. I'd say it's worth the pain in order to keep others from hurting. The result was a return trip to the rock wall, where I climbed until my climber's elbow began to return, not just in my right arm, but also in my left. Sweet. I was hurting and feeling good.

The group of the four of us walked down to Haggan for food and due to the lack of anything better to do.

My day ended at about 2:00 AM. I was glad it was over.

Today, I have just been studying all day. Due to my arms and the fact that I got a cramp while sitting down studying, I've decided to take the day off from climbing. At least that's the plan. We'll see how long it is before I crack and need physical activity. Actually, I'm gonna go skateboard right now.

177

2008-03-17T21:15:00.001-07:00

So glad that today is over. It's all downhill from here.

That's it. I thought I had more to say. But I don't.

Day 175

2008-03-15T22:20:00.000-07:00

Today and yesterday were a little rough. I did have a ton of fun last night, but otherwise I've just done a lot of school work. I've seen four (really terrible) movies. I've read probably half a book that I was supposed to read a while ago (oops), finished up a 12 pager, started an 8-12 pager, and tried to think of how I'm going to approach an in-class written final on Monday. I went on a walk to Fairhaven this afternoon, but I should have been hiking. I then turned around and prompty went to haul and stack wood at Mark's place. Anything to not study. I now have the excuse of not studying and say that my brain has shut down, as clearly evident in my cerebral flatulance. To make things seem a little bit better, I did come back and do some more writing before giving up about six minutes ago.

I don't know what the rest of my night has in store for me. We'll find out. Right now it's looking like I might have a beer and turn on a war movie or play guitar. I really want to watch We Were Soldiers or WindTalkers right now, but I don't own either of those films, and I'm the only one around here who watches war movies.

In response to a comment by Mr Simon a few days ago, yes, I do intend to return to drinking coffee. I still love the stuff. However, I realize that it plays an important role in my life, and you have no idea how hard it is to get through Dead and Finals weeks and not have any significant amounts of caffeine enter my blood stream, especially when you're used to it in the quantities that I am. As a result it's a significant cutback: one mug in the morning, and that's it for the rest of the day. There's a comfort to it too, because it's soooo nice to hang out at the kitchen table or school desk and have a cup of coffee to sip at while reading the morning paper or chat with a friend.

I seriously CAN NOT wait until I can have coffee again. I am SO excited.

It's only 10:33 now.

The night is still young.

Day 173

2008-03-13T23:09:00.000-07:00

My hands hurt. I went climbing twice today, which I probably shouldn't have done. But I feel better now, so that's good. I was able to get one of my papers done, which is good, but this weekend is going to be a pain in the butt for me. Forecast to be rainy and cold, I will likely be in my room and in the library for most of it, poring over papers, watching movies for class that I didn't watch when I was supposed to, and attempting to stay awake without the normally present aid of immense amounts of coffee (ONE MORE WEEK!)

Working on papers, climbing, and trying not to go crazy have been my primary concerns in the past week. I rolled out of bed this morning just as my first class got started, quickly texted my friend and told her I wouldn't be there. Luckily it wasn't a lecture day, so I'm feeling a little bit better about that. It was a much needed change of pace, though, and gave me plenty of extra time to work on my paper. I think I mentioned I finished it too. YAY!

Watched a movie with a friend, so that was nice.

Didn't do much else.

Nothing deep to talk about today.

Sorry.

170

2008-03-09T21:00:00.000-07:00

I think it was Friday night when I had my revelation into my own existance. I've been mulling it over for a few days, and here goes.

But first, some background.

For those who know me, which I presume would be all of you, you know that I'm a single guy. For awhile actually. Actually, my last relationship of which to speak was the first week of my freshman year in high school. It lasted about that long as well: a week. Hardly a relationship, so I don't really count it. This is the extent of the dating I've done in the last 7 years. My attempts at high school romance abruptly ended when I was shot down via instant message my senior year. Since, I won't say I haven't looked, but I haven't tried. I simply had too many things to do, full-time school, full-time work, worship team, college group, friends, snowboarding, etc. I knew I was leaving in two years for university. I'd get a dog and drive with his head hanging out the window of a Chevy pickup truck.

When I came up to college, I figured I'd have a fresh start. Maybe meet a nice hippy girl, we'd go pick up garbage and commune with nature, slack line, talk about politics, bash the Establishment, talk Marxism and about why capitalism sucks. I found myself wanting a relationship, but never actually having the cajones to talk to that pretty girl in class. I heard about girls liking me but didn't care. I maintained the same mindset as I had had at Clark College, essentially. I was (and am) scared of girls. They were a distraction. A tie-down, if you will. They would keep me from what two goals I had - travel with my dog (which I've not yet acquired) and settling in the mountains.

I basically didn't want to work for it. I just wanted to have fun.

On winter break, I sat down and had a lengthy conversation with my grandpa on this exact subject. This was the turning point for me. I won't go into the details of the conversation, but what eventually came out was for me to realize that I couldn't be alone forever.

I began to be interested. Actively interested for once. You know what it did? It made winter quarter suck. I had my fair share of fun, but always in the back of my mind was "Does this girl like me? What about what she said that one time when we did this?" I hated my spinelessness as I began to marginalize my faith for the sake of my own likability. I was selling out. And I knew it. I became a jerk due to my irritability. I was always worried, and worry would flare up when I realized I had a paper due. Like now.

Which actually brings me to now.

I like girls. I'm terrified of them, and I'm terrified I'll never find one that's worth the guts it took to say hi in the first place. But I was happier with the notion I'd be single forever. It gave me an excuse to be scared. I never pursued, and I was fine with that. And while I do need to get over myself and being scared (I mean, seriously, the worst that could happen is they could say "Go away you loser") I'm content with being single for now. If things work out with someone in the next year and a half, sweet. If not, sweet. I really don't care. Yeah, there's someone right now I'm interested in. But pushing it toward a dating relationship right away is just not going to make things happen the way God intended them to. Again, if things work out, sweet. If not, totally fine with that.

Otherwise, I've been realizing I don't do well with people around me ALL THE TIME. Such is living in the dorms. And such will be being a resident advisor. I just need to figure out a balance. One thing is for sure, though. Next year, I'll have my own room. And in that room will NOT be a TV.

Someone should disconnect my internet too.

168-Hyped Up and Headachey

2008-03-08T14:39:00.000-08:00

I've been dealing with some strange things lately. Feelings I didn't know I had that I'm still not sure that I do. I hurt all over, my active lifestyle finally catching up to me. Spiritual battles that bring me closer to the Father. It's within the context of stress, finals, deadlines for papers, sunshine, and being in contact with good friends that I've learned some pretty important things about myself in the last few days. Mainly what I want to get from this life, and what my expectations were of the college experience.

Right now, I'm on the crash from the about 6 Airhead that I devoured about an hour ago. Immediate result: WOOHHOO. Long term effect: OH MY, my head hurts.

I actually have to go study now, since my tea is done. I will formulate these things which I have learned tomorrow evening or possibly Monday.

166

2008-03-06T20:56:00.000-08:00

I have been in a little bit of a funk lately. I don't know why, although I have realized it. It took my roommate saying something pretty uncharacteristic to snap me out of it, because I really wasn't being nice to him.

I suppose school is stressing me out a little bit. Not too much, and it should look better to me after the weekend because I'll have my other papers done.

I broke my rule for myself, and when rock climbing was proposed by a stack mate I hesitantly agreed. I had tons of fun though, meeting a friend there on accident who is a pretty good climber and a SUPER cool guy. I had a good day, and spent it mostly trying this one that required jumping twice, once to the side, and the other straight up. I wound up getting it right after my friend, and it's the coolest feeling to get a route you've been trying for a while. I sang really loud right afterward "You're my inspiraaaation!"

Yeah it was funny.

It's bedtime now. Tomorrow's Friday. THANK GOODNESS

165

2008-03-05T17:04:00.000-08:00

Of course, it had to be sunny today, and I have been in class. Well, I hopped on a slackline that some people had set up, but otherwise I've done pretty much nothing. I did manage to do a bit of research this morning, but after dinner, I have to get going hard-core on a history paper for one of my classes. It's not going to be difficult, I would just rather spend the time researching for my other paper, studying, or, better yet, hanging out and doing nothing.

I'm committed myself to rest and study for the next few days, which both blows, since I have an enormous amount of pent-up energy that must be discharged preferably while communing with nature or climbing, and is awesome, since I have a ton of studying I have to do, and I've got a right arm that really hurts after I've climbed for about a half hour. That really needs to heal so I don't rip my tendon in half. So, even though I don't like it, I really need a rest from my immense amounts of physical exhertion.

I had a thought today. It was epic, but I can't actually remember what it was right now.

I think it was science related. But I can't be sure.

I'll let you know if I remember.

Day 164- Bittersweet

2008-03-04T17:06:00.000-08:00

Today was cloudy turned sunny, and it happened to turn sunny while I was hiking. AAWWW YEAH. I did have to go by myself again, and was once more bummed at my friend for having something school-oriented to do, but I managed. I also bought rock shoes and an REI membership, running me about $100 that I am going to need a little bit later. Pretty fun stuff.

Why is it that whenever someone doesn't want to do something, they say they have school stuff to work on? "Oh, I'm sorry, my meeting got rescheduled, I can't make it." or "Dude, so sorry, but I have a four page paper due tomorrow and I haven't even started yet." LAME. Studying is the ever present thing you should be doing, but never actually do.

So I have a ton of stuff to do, but I'm gonna go skateboard instead. Because I don't want to study.

162

2008-03-02T21:59:00.000-08:00

These next few weeks are going to be a royal pain in the butt. For real.

I went to church this morning, which always seems to be awkward. I feel like a visitor at Glenwood, and while I enjoy it, it's just...different. Talking to people you haven't seen in awhile is sort of weird.

Drove back north, singing along to Brad Paisley, Garth Brooks, Counting Crows, and random other songs. Man I love singing. I'm certainly terrible at it, but it's a blast.

I never thought climbing could feel so good. I'm seriously addicted. It felt so good to get on that wall again this evening, even if I did have to climb by myself. It feels good to conquer routes that have stumped you for three days in a row.

So here I am. Checking facebook and blogging instead of reading and writing like I'm supposed to.

Meh.

I'll make it. It's supposed to be a beautiful week mostly, so hopefully I'll still be able to get stuff done.

And hike. WOOT

161

2008-03-01T12:35:00.001-08:00

I spent yesterday in my truck driving back down to Vancouver. I went out with some buddies last night, my first night of pub-experience. It was nice to get out and chill with people I haven't seen in awhile.

Otherwise, not much has been going on. I forgot how much fun it was to play my Fender Telecaster, so I'm bringing that back up with me, as well as an amp possibly. We'll see what the roomie says.

I should be reading, but don't really want to.

Hopefully this evening I'll get to hang out with some more of the fellas, which is the plan, but we haven't really formulated a plan at this point.

I want to be rock climbing SO BAD right now. I just feel my arms getting weaker, and I've resolved to get good at it. I probably should let my muscles heal though.

Ok. I have nothing else to say of any value whatsoever.

Cheers.

159

2008-02-28T19:44:00.000-08:00

This week has been so amazing on so many different levels. I've gotten to walk around without shoes, hang out and meet all sorts of cool people, found out I'm gonna be an RA next year, and I'm driving home tomorrow morning. I'm stoked to go out with my friends and see my friends get married.

On another note. I went on another one of my hikes today. I didn't intend to go for as long as I did, due to my friend not being able to come with me (sad day.) However, it was probably good that I went by myself, because it was really a struggle. Here's the background...

Last night at Core, we talked about spiritual gifts and being able to see demons and spirits. Some of the stories really creeped me out, seeing shadowy figures suddenly appear out of nowhere. The whole point was that with Jesus on our side, we can basically tell these things to piss off, and they have no choice but to do so: they can't stand God's presence.

Satan took advantage of this insecurity of mine today. The result was a spiritual battle while I was hiking this mountain. Through marshes, trees, and winding paths, I felt a weird presence around me. My eyes were doing funny things to me, not being able to focus on things. I had tingles like crazy all over my neck, and I was sweating SO much. I got hungry quicky. I got thirsty like the dickens. I kept looking behind me because I felt like I was being followed. At one point, I thought I saw a random shadow blitz across the trail a little ways in front of me.

Whether or not I was seeing things and my eyes were playing tricks on me, I was creeped out to the max. I prayed like crazy, and while funny feelings left me, I did business with God on some stuff. It was mostly the hike up that I was creeped out. The trip down was better, but still a little freaky because I took a trail that I didn't know. Oops.

I have hiked most of these trails numerous times and NEVER had a battle like I did today. It was pretty intense. It's not something I want to do again, because while I know that God has power over Satan, it's still scary and feels mega-crazy.

It was a cleansing that just happened to take 11 miles to complete, but it was good. One of my friends suggested that it was also related to my fasting from coffee. Hmmmm. I've also been climbing a lot. AndI should be stressing.

SUCH a good week.

Now I have to poop.

156 SO HAPPY

2008-02-25T19:32:00.000-08:00

SO I had an amazing day today.

Got up normal time, but treated myself for breakfast via my own guest pass, since my normal meal plan doesn't cover breakfast because I sleep through it all the time anyway. Classes went as they normally do. I ate lunch, then decided to spend the rest of the afternoon on campus, wandering around to meet people and see if I saw anyone I knew.

Oh. Did I mention it was sunny?

Met some cool folk with a slack line and a hacky-sack. I sucked at hacky sack, but it was fun anyway. I even remember their names.

Got a call from an awesome friend, and although we're good friends the conversation seemed a little awkward for whatever reason. *meh* It was good talking to you, Dirk.

At this point, it was about 2:00, my flip flops were off, and I was feeling good. I shoved them in my backpack and kept walking.

Met a friend, who showed me what North Edens looks like on the inside. This 15 minute visit turned into meeting three-ish more people and walking around campus. Yes. Still barefoot.

45 minutes later, I went to the Gamma desk to get my mail, then wound up having a 40ish minute chat with the desk attendant. Good conversation. SCORE.

Ok. So I hate my skate deck right now. SO MUCH. The tail is too short relative to the other boards I've had, so I can't flip anything right. I had ordered a new one off Whiskey Milita, and it came today. SCORE.

I also received a letter today informing me that I have been selected as a Resident Advisor for the 2008/2009 school year, assuming I don't do anything dumb in the next few months. SCORE.

Went to dinner.

Came back from dinner. The pair of flip flops I've been wanting popped up on Steep and Cheap for about a third of the street price, half with shipping. SCORE.

It's been a good day.

I think I should either skate or write a paper now...

Yeah, I'm gonna skate.

155- Fragrance Lake

2008-02-24T19:38:00.000-08:00

I wanted a cup of coffee more than ever today. SO MUCH. Alexandra and Megan both offered encouragement in different ways at breakfast as I scarfed down my cheesy potatoes. It was funny, because if I remember correctly, Megan offering some form of "Suck it up," while Alexandra talked about how cool it was that I was denying myself coffee for the sake of my spiritual growth. It didn't make it any easier, but it was nice to hear.

After church, I embarked on another hike. This was one of the more popular hikes in the Chuckanut system, so there were people everywhere, which sucked because they made a lot of noise and were slow hikers. I took a picture for you.

I talked to my parents today, and my dad reminded me of a digital camera that's at home that no one ever uses, so he offered it to me. Sweet. So hopefully there'll be some better pics coming out in the next few weeks.

I have also decided that if I get any sort of tax return, I'm buying my own climbing shoes. And I'm gonna save up for a decent mountain bike. I love this whole spring thing.

Day 153-A Break From the Norm

2008-02-22T17:22:00.000-08:00

There are a few songs that I really relate to, and that's what I look for in music. If I relate to the artist in some aspect, I'm gonna love it. So here are a few of my favorite songs right now. Songs that speak to me and ignite something that makes me think or want to live better. I'll post lyrics to show what about the song I like.

It was a beautiful letdown

When I crashed and burned

When I found myself all alone, unknown, unheard

It was a beautiful letdown

The day I knew

All the riches this world had to offer me

Would never do

In a world full of bitter pain

and bitter doubts

I was trying so hard to fit in

Until I found out

That I don't belong here

----"Beautiful Letdown" -Switchfoot

I'm so tired of being alone, so hurry up and get here

----"Love Song For No One" - John Mayer

Take it easy

Don't let the sound of them old wheels drive you crazy

-----"Take it Easy"- The Eagles

Dare you to move

I dare you move

I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor

I dare you to move

Like today never happened before

----"Dare You to Move"- Switchfoot

Don't think for one second

I will not question

US foreign policy, imperial aggression

Inventing war for the quenching of the thirst for the oil

'Cause money don't trickle down to workers who toil

---"Blink"- Blue Scholars

I want to wake up kicking and screaming

I want to live like I know what I'm leaving

I want to know that my heart's still beating

---"Awakening"-Switchfoot

After all I've seen, and all I've done

I know (hope, in my case) somewhere, there is someone

Who'll look my way, and say "I want that one"

---"My Kind of Woman"-George Strait

It basically comes down to me really liking Switchfoot. So that's all of them I can think of for now, but I'll add more as I go. There's a million more, but I've either already referenced them or can't remember them right now.

Day 152

2008-02-21T21:42:00.000-08:00

Today turn glorious at right around 2:00, and I would have given just about anything to be out hiking. However, it was not meant to be. I was lured into an information meeting thinking it was an "internship," which wound up being an attempt to recruit me into being a commissioned door-to-door salesman for educational products. Once I found out what it actually was, I turned from an enthusiastic notetaker -albeit mostly due to the request of the presenter- to a sardonic pain in the butt. Irritated that I could have been out hiking and was snatched from the trail by the claws of a capitalist, I tried to make as clear as I could without saying it bluntly that it was a waste of my time, the customer's time and money, seeing as that would have been something my mom would have gotten me while I couldn't have cared less how "valuable of a resource" it was or how much it cost. This was real-deal capitalist exploitation of the masses and manipulated statistics, and it made me sick. And while I play the part of consumer to survive in this country, I will not become a bourgeouisie.

I politely sat through the first segment, then when the presenter asked if either of us (there were only two of us at this meeting) were still interested, and immediately said "This is DEFINITELY not for me."

"Ok. Then you're done."

"Thanks for your time."

And I was OUT OF THERE.

Otherwise, I got some reading done, which is important, since I don't do most of it. Got some skating done, which is good, since I needed the excersize. Hopefully I'll get out for a hike tomorrow, though I'm not getting my hopes up.

151 Days of Sheer Madness

2008-02-20T18:51:00.000-08:00

I wanted to write yesterday to make it an even 150, but I failed.

I suppose I'm over halfway through the year now.

Been an interesting few days. Working on papers sucks big time, but I'm done now which is nice. Who knows how well I'll do on them, but it's beyond me at this point. Hit somewhat of a low yesterday, but I'm back on top of it now and feeling better.

Going home in a little over a week. I'm actually really excited to see my friends and family and swap out my guitars. My friends Tommy and Anna are getting married. (Yes Tommy, I'm thinking and praying for you both!) It's going to be very cool to be there, because I know it's gonna last.

I ate pizza for dinner. Which means I'm gassy. And I have Core in 20 minutes. It's gonna be fun.

Day 149- The Oyster Dome

2008-02-18T21:07:00.000-08:00

So this hike was SO much fun. The first mile and a half were pretty much a piece of cake, the classic switchbacks althought they were somewhat steep. However, the last half pretty much kicked my butt. There were a lot of scramble type things, and it was one of those situations where you just had to keep trudging upward with the confidence that the view was going to be worth it. The trail even got snow on it at one point, which made it even more fun.

There's pretty much not much else to today. I got my 18 pages worth of papers done, now I just have to edit them. SUCK FEST. But at this point I can turn them in as is and at least get partial credit.

Yeah, I'm pretty much done.

147

2008-02-16T19:15:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning at about 8:30 to work on homework for about an hour and a half. I did succeed, over halfway done with one essay and about 2/5 done on the other one. So then I ate, sat around while my laundry was in the machine, and then left for the trail at about 1:00. I got back to campus at about 4:30, dead tired. I took some of the hardest trails in the system today, conquering a trail I have wanted to do since I got here and finishing one that I had to abort at an earlier date. Altogether, I figure I hiked about 8 miles total, which is a lot for taking last week off from hiking. I have huge blisters on the back of my heels, otherwise I could have gone further.

All the time I was hiking I was thinking about life, since I was by myself. I feel like my faith has grown in some ways since I got here, and I think part of it's because I've been increasingly exposed to nature. There's just something meditative and spiritual about it. Probably because God made it. Anyway, I kept thinking of this verse, and I don't remember where it is, but it's something about "narrow is the path that leads to salvation." It seemed fitting that the most winding and difficult trails on that mountain seem to have the best views. I'm not equating nature with salvation, but most people would rather drive on the freeway or sit at home watching TV than get out in the woods and hike and climb around all day. That's way less difficult, and they're missing out on some amazing aspects of life that God gave us to enjoy.

One more thing. I took a picture from Raptor Ridge (doesn't it just sound cool?!) and was going to send it to someone. Then I second guessed myself. The receiver of the message wouldn't understand. It's one thing to get a text message from where someone's been, but another entirely to stand on a big rock with an amazing view after you've scrambled up the trail with blisters on your heels after already having walked up steep winding switchbacks for 5 miles as your calves and thighs scream for you to let up. I didn't send the text message. I figured if they cared, they'd ask.

Grab life by the horns and fling it around a little bit. Don't be content with watching shows about life and nature. Get out and experience them the way God intended them to be.

Day 144

2008-02-13T21:32:00.000-08:00

My cold's almost gone, so I'm feeling way better now. Was able to get out for a skate this evening after my eternal classes, and I keep discovering that my ankle isn't as strong as it used to be. I just can't stay off it long enough for it to feel complete again.

That's pretty much it. I have to read now.

---------------------

Earlier today, I saw a film called Johnny Got His Gun. It was one of the most depressing films I've seen. The main character was a soldier (basically an 18 year old kid) in World War I. It didn't cover his service and his experiences. He was in an impact crater when a shell went off next to him. As a result, he lost his arms, his legs, his hearing, his sight and his entire face became a gaping hole. The film is essentially his thoughts as he's laying there in a hospital, unable to communicate with anyone, all the while wishing he could just be allowed to die. The thing is, I wanted them to grant his request. At the end, when he finally became able to communicate through moving his head (the contact with the pillow was Morse Code) the brass wouldn't allow it. So they're just going to leave him laying on this stretcher. One of the nurses pinches off his breathing tube in mercy, but the captain stops her and gives him a sedative. Through all of this I'm going "YOU. IDIOTS. Just let this guy die."

I firmly believe that God alone has the authority to give and take life. SO I wasn't sure what to do with this. We can allow this man to die, or we can keep him alive and suffering. I know this has modern relevance, since there's debate going on about assisted suicide. But if it were I in this man's place, I would certainly just want to die so I could be with my Creator. With all of internet-dom as my witness, I will not spend the later years of my life hooked up to a machine.

I'm unsure what to do with this. I'm all for using medicine to cure illness, but when someone is entirely dependant on it humanity is sustaining this person's life, not God. Now, God could certainly have the janitor pull the plug on the machine and everything would be peachy.

I guess I'm against the notion that humanity thinks it can play God when we really have no business doing so.

It's late and I need to sleep.

143 "DANG"

2008-02-12T22:03:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning at 9:00, I think. Promptly put on George Strait, because he's one of the man. Went to class gladly, because Tuesdays and Thursdays are the days I really do like school. One class, it's interesting, and I feel like it's good information that pertains to something. The professor isn't afraid to swear or say something funny either, which just makes it that much more bearable.

Done with class. Eat lunch, work on a midterm. I got a good start on it, tomorrow I'll write more and then have to write for my other one too. FRICK. School sucks when you actually have to do homework and take tests.

Met with one of the co-leaders of Core, which is a CCF affiliated small group that I go to on Wednesdays. My meeting with him, which basically consisted of talking about life and prayer, really lifted me up. I've been a little down lately, and that pretty much helped me feel at ease about life.

Walked around downtown with a friend for awhile, then I felt like I needed a drive. So I drove my truck as fast as I could - safely- down Chuckanut Drive, a few miles down past Larrabee State Park. It's basically a windy road, for those of you that haven't been up here. It felt good to go fast, get through the gears, and live a little on the dangerous side of things again. I miss jumping off stuff and going fast.

141

2008-02-10T16:25:00.000-08:00

So.

My professors decided that it would be good to hand out mid-terms the middle to end of this week. Which means that I have up to 24 pages of history bally-who to write about in the next week. What's funny is that these classes are totally different from last quarter's history courses in that I don't trust anything I read anymore, ESPECIALLY autobiographies, which one of them happens to be based upon. FRICK. So dumb.

My body also picked this weekend to have a highly adverse reaction to the absence of caffeine, specifically coffee, in my diet. In between all the normal symptoms of caffeine withdrawals (the shaking, the headaches, etc,) I am now dealing with a cold as well. It's minor at this point, and I'm doing everything I can to contain it. I went to bed at 11 last night, which is about two or three hours earlier than normal. I woke up at about 8, which is two or three hours earlier than normal, but I laid around until about 10.

Church was good. I felt like some of the verses were taken out of context, but there was a reason for it and they still fit the pastor's thesis, so it ended up being ok.

After church, I made my sick run to Haggen and Rite-Aid. Vitamin C drops, 3-ply Kleenex, four cans of soup, peppermint tea, and more Buckley's. This supplemented my Friday Costco run, in which I acquired Sweet and Salty bars, a three pound box of Cheez-Its, and a box of fruit snacks. So I've pretty much been unproductive today, and hopefully it doesn't get worse than this because next week is going to KICK. MY. BUTT, and I'm hoping to get out and have fun at some point...

Stay well. Being sick is lame.

Day 138

2008-02-07T16:15:00.000-08:00

Hello. My name's Brandon. I have a coffee problem, and I need help.

I cannot remember a time in my life that I have ever been this tired all the freaking time. Yesterday, I had to skip a class because I had fallen onto my bed and couldn't get up. Just now, I sat up to find that an hour and a half of my life had passed without my knowledge.

This year, for Lent, I figured I needed to take care of my coffee problem. I was up to a pot a day, in addition to most meals and whenever I felt like I needed it. My existance is just about tied to coffee. From it I draw my strength, my energy, and it even has a soothing quality to it. I can sleep just as well with coffee in my system as without.

I awoke yesterday morning, went to class, and was fine for about the first hour. Then. It hit me. I felt like a blob with a headache. I wanted to do nothing. I laid down for a short nap, which turned into "I seriously can't got to class." As I was laying in my bed just now, I was shaking. Seriously shaking. It comes and goes. Today, I couldn't make out someone's face until I was 10 feet away and had already made a fool of myself, waving and smiling because I thought I knew them.

When people ask me why I'm so "down," I say "I'm not drinking coffee for awhile." I've been surprised at the number of people that actually know exactly what I'm up to. "Oh. For Lent?"

"Yeah."

Lent seems to be primarily observed by Catholics. I observe it because I feel it's good practice. It's been very helpful for me, especially since coffee is a part of my being. Giving that up strips me of some of the physical energy I'm used to having. Withdrawals suck. But that's where God comes in. When I'm in class dragging along more than normal I can call on him and he'll help strengthen me to keep me awake. And that's why I think Lent is worth observing.

No, I'm not better than you if you aren't observing Lent. In the long run, I don't think that God cares what you do to get close to him. My salvation isn't riding on it.

One final thought. It will be really interesting to see the person I am without coffee and caffiene coarsing through my veins every morning. Some of my friends (Siiiiimon, I knoooow you remember Montana) have seen me on withdrawals before, and it's not pretty. I've managed to not be short with people, so that's good. But I wonder if I'll be the same person, or more mellow, or more energetic. But right now, all I want to do is sleep.

Yeah. My head hurts.

Day 136. Good Grief, I'm Tired

2008-02-05T18:57:00.000-08:00

This morning was probably one of the grossest EVER. I woke up to sirens and howling wind. 20-30 mph winds cut right through my jacket while a steady stream of rain soaked me as I walked to and from class. Seriously disgusting. If only going to class wasn't important to me.

Otherwise, today was uneventful. Came back to the room, played the bass and did pretty much nothing. Dinner was less than stellar, as usual.

Definitely not looking forward to tomorrow. Don't have much else to say.

Planning on rock climbing a bit later, but that's if I can get my butt off of my bed and actually get to the gym.

Day 135 I think

2008-02-04T17:54:00.000-08:00

Sitting in my dorm waiting for my roommate to finish his Halo game so I can eat. He tends to throw a tantrum when people leave without him. I'm such a nice guy.

Otherwise, not a whole lot going on on this end of things. Super stoked, just found out that I passed my first interview, which means I have three more this weekend. FUN. I'm very glad to make it through though.

I'd like to know why people like gangsta rap. Totally serious. I have a reason for liking Blue Scholars, and that's that the words really resonate with me. But seriously. How does talking about women as if they are objects rather than actual people actually pass as music. Some say you don't listen to rap for the words, but rather the beat. Ok. So why "talk?" Leave all that crap out and see how you like it then. If it's based on the beat itself, then you don't need the words.

16 kills left for my roommate.

5 kills.
Ok so I don't have much time left. Hope everyone's week is going well.

Dinner time. More later. Maybe.

-----------------------------------------
Ok, so it's later and I'm just about bored stiff at this point.

We're watching the History channel in here, and there was just this program about the Pacific Coast Highway, talking about how it was prone to landslides and floods.

It never ceases to amaze me how stupid people can be.

I guess this is where I declare my stance on global warming or climate change or whatever. Here, in the 21st century, we insignificant humans tend to think that we've mastered the earth. We've just about explored everything, we've built skyscrapers, bridges, and cities as monuments to our superiority. Whether or not global warming or climate change exists, I don't know. I'm a history student, not a climatologist. I know the climate goes in stages, and that good snow years are hard to come by these days.

What I can tell you is that nature has it's way of getting back. If you're a Christian or even simply believe there's a God, you probably believe there's some element of divinity in this. I just know that there are certain things that are just dumb. Seriously. Building a house on the beach. Or on a cliff overlooking the beach. Or on an active volcano like Mt St Helens.

Nature can wreck us. Seriously, destroy all humanity. Well, God won't destroy the earth with a flood again. But that doesn't rule out the possibility of a massive tsunami wrecking the Washington coast. Hey, wait, that's me...

Day 133 (?)

2008-02-02T16:15:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a very full, very fun day. After class, I did some reading, hung out, and went on a hike late-afternoon. It was just about the perfect length, with a sweet view of the San Juans. We caught it right at the end of the sunset, so it was pretty cool. Walking back down was kinda interesting though, since the trail was pretty muddy and the light was pretty much non-existent. As prepared as I was for this, I was pretty dumb to not think to bring a flashlight. This was ok though, it made things more exciting.

Note: The forest at night is SO quiet. Awesome. I will remember this.

Hung out with the suitemates and went to bed at about 1:40. I think. Can't remember much.

Woke up this morning AT 10:30. Rolled out of bed immediately, showered, and breakfasted until about 12:15, ran to room, made coffee, went out to a friends house to chop wood. Fun, but I had utterly forgotten how to do this. It'll take a few more times until I relearn.

Now, I need to go skate, since it's not raining.

Day 131 Why Do I Care?

2008-01-31T14:53:00.000-08:00

I was eating lunch today, and when I couldn't find anyone to sit with, settled on a spot by myself. My days eating lunch by myself -I won't lie- suck. Especially when I have nothing else to do immediately afterward. Days like this, though, are GREAT for people watching. As I watched...well...people, I took my headphones out, because nothing says "Don't sit by me" like a set of headphones. I heard some variant of a language of which I am not familiar, and it irritated me, especially because there was a table of about eighty people speaking said language.

Upon this realization, I thought to myself: Why do I care? What difference does it make? Loving people doesn't involve being irritated because someone can't speak the same language as I do. Why does it matter if someone cuddles with their girlfriend (although this is really just awkward and I don't know why)?

Why do we get annoyed?

I said a something from my Christian world view which in hindsight may not have been the most intelligent thing to say, although I believe it with just about all of my being. I can't remember what the question was, but it was some variant of how I thought problem solving amongs peers should work. I said that if two people are having a problem, and I included myself in this, that a portion of the problem exists within both people.

Which means I'm the problem, because not everyone has the same problem I do.

I think that's my flatulance for the day. I'm gonna make easy-Mac.

Day 130: I Should Be Reading, But I'm Over It.

2008-01-30T21:49:00.000-08:00

If any one reading this cerebral flatulance knew how much reading I have to do, they'd scold me and unplug my internet, which would actually be better both for myself and the general population.

Today was the busiest day I've had in a long time. Woke up at 7:15, utterly annoyed to have to wrench the covers from my paws. After an "argument" with my roomie over what makes a man manly, I went to my first class. BORING. Some funny stuff happened, but luckily people either didn't notice or were mature and don't think any less of me for it.

Went to the VU. Typed on a paper for an hour before a friend stopped by. We both talk a decent amount, so we did that before I wandered off in search of sustenance. I can't remember what I ate. Oh. "Salisbury steak." That's what it was supposed to be, anyway. I can't remember how it tasted, either. Went to my next class (Eastern European/Balkans History since 1900,) and emerged an hour and a half later glad to not be in there anymore.

Side note: I'm scared to tell my prof that I've been to Slovenia and Central/Eastern Europe. There was one guy that had been to Bosnia-Herzegovina, and he made a presentation the other day. I'm not certain as to whether the prof asked him to, or if he volunteered. Either way. I don't want to take the chance.

Figured I was close enough to the library to go and read something I hadn't. So I did that for an hour, then went to light lunch, since my next class was three hours long and I was out of coffee again. Scarfed down a few bowls of salad, next class.

At least the second movie was interesting.

Class out at 6:00. Hungry again and out of coffee. Went to dinner, met some new people and reconnected with friends I hadn't seen in awhile. Refilled my coffee.

Back to the library. Read the rest of the section I didn't finish earlier, finished and printed my paper, and listened to George Strait. I really relate to his songs for some reason.

Walked back to the room and got here at about 8:30 with the intention of reading, but didn't feel like it and realized that my desk was an absolute mess. So I poured myself another cup of coffee, cleaned my desk, and here I am, listening to the Eagles and drinking coffee.

For the record. I've had four 16 oz tumblers of coffee, and working on my second mug since I've gotten back. And I'm still going to sleep really well.

Tomorrow's Thursday. Which means that the day after that is Friday. Maybe catch a sunset over the Bay at that point? I'm in for a busy next-ten days.

Day 129

2008-01-29T17:09:00.001-08:00

Woke up this morning to find the inch of snow that had accumulated last night almost completely gone. It must have rained or something. Some friends and I attempted to build a jump on the football field up to a hurdle with the intent of doing some pull-in jibbing. Needless to say, while it was fun, we didn't have enough speed even with four of us pulling.

Otherwise, I had an interview for an RA position today. It went really well, and my history background really came in handy, because it provided some great answers on the diversity questions. Anyway.

That's pretty much it. Went to the dollar store and wandered around making fun of the items.

Anyway.

Yeah, that's it.

2nd Day 125

2008-01-26T19:22:00.001-08:00

I have just really had this on my heart all day. There's a lot of crap going on up here
drama-wise, and those who live up here in Bellingham, Gamma Stack9 can attest to that. I have the luxury of being able to not care, and when the stuff gets flung I go sit in my corner and rock back and forth, wondering why people can't just get along.

This is challenging for me as well, because there are certainly people I don't like to be around all the time. I say this to show that I'm not holier than the reader of this wasted bandwidth, but that I'm just like you. I try very hard to get along with everyone, and I still feel like I fail at moments.

For those of you that aren't Christians, bear with me.

1 John 3:15 says "Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer; and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him."

Here's another one

1st John 4:20
"If someone says "I love God" and hates his brother, he is a liar; for one who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen"

If you believe that Jesus is the Savior of the world, that should make you sweat. The Bible also, at least as far as I've noticed, makes no distinction between "liking" and "hating," nor is there a distinction between "liking" and "loving." "Love your neighbor as yourself," and I know that this phrase is found in multiple world views, so this should apply to everyone.

Another thing, and you can look these passages up yourself and place them in context if you don't trust me, but there isn't an "unless" right after. Love each other. No excuses. No "if"s, "and"s, or "but"s. That's it. It doesn't matter what that person did, what they said, what you heard they said. FORGIVE THEM AND MOVE ON.

Do with that what you want. I hope you get rid of whatever little things you're fighting about, because no matter what you believe, people are watching and drawing judgements about you whether you realize it or not. Do you want to be known as quarrelsome and unforgiving? Those certainly aren't traits I want ascribed to myself, let alone Christianity as a world view.

Ok. You can agree with what I've just posted or not. I'll leave it at this: People in this world are fighting, killing, and dying over century old disagreements. They started because two people, or groups there-of just couldn't get along, for whatever reason.

Day 125

2008-01-26T14:15:00.000-08:00

The snow's flying up here. Maybe it'll stick, maybe it won't. I find I don't really care that much anymore. I mean, snow's good, and I don't have to go anywhere, but it's almost normal to me now, at least for it to be snowing.

Got back from hiking for awhile with some friends. Didn't even make it to the top. Kinda bummed about that, but whatever. Now I know what the trail's like, I'll have to head back up there. It was hard for about the first half hour, but remembering that trail Dad, Evan, and I took in Alberta nothing really seems quite so bad, so it's easy to keep going. It was just starting to get fun too...anyway. Enough of that. Now I have an afternoon with nothing to do.

I'm been sort of in a funk the last few days. It seems like I'm getting annoyed with things that I shouldn't, but at the same time I don't really want to talk to anyone about it just because it doesn't seem Christ-like to gripe about other people. I could be wrong. I suppose I mostly just don't like when other people talk badly about other people to me.

There's crazy drama going on around here too, plus what's going on in Gaza and the cut-throat nature of politics.

I guess that even with all the people that are around me, I just sort of feel alone, like I don't fully identify with anyone. Which would make me the problem. Imagine that.

124- Thinking Too Much

2008-01-24T18:33:00.000-08:00

I've got to lead a discussion on Rousseau's Social Contract tomorrow, and don't really want to. Either way, it's happening tomorrow morning, so I get to be done with it then. YAY!

Hopefully the weather's decent this weekend so I can go on a hike.

I've been listening to a lot of country lately. I've got a new song. That's My Kind of Woman by George Strait. Oh. The Blue Scholars are awesome too. WOOT.

I'm just experimenting a lot lately with different music. The more I hear, the more I like. It's kinda fun to like stuff that most people really don't. Anyway.

I'm gonna go skateboard because I need to clear my mind and expend energy.

Day 122 I Saw Something That Irritated Me.

2008-01-22T12:21:00.001-08:00

I've seen this bumper sticker a few times that really drives me up a wall. I came across it again on someone's facebook and I've been thinking about it all day. It reads this way: "Except for ending slavery, Fascism, Nazism, and Communism, war never solved anything." I figure I'll take this one point by point, although I am sure you know where I'm going just already.

Slavery. HAHA. Let's define it, shall we? Because this quote hasn't, I'm gonna do it instead. What about the girls in India that are forced into sexual acts with men many years older than them? That's slavery. And war didn't end it because it's still going on. "But no," you say "we're obviously talking about slavery in America." Ok. Again, we're defining slavery. So if setting someone free means throwing them out into a capitalist society where they have essentially no rights anyway, what good does it do? I'm not suggesting that slaves weren't happy to be set free. I am saying that they remained oppressed by the Jim Crow laws and a poor public opinion until the flippin' 1960s and 70s, and that oppression continues today as well. This doesn't mention the idea slavery of the proletarians to the bourgouisie, because as good as I have it in this world, I'm still a slave to the system.

Fascism. The only country that's ever had this government in it's truest form is Mussolini's Italy, and it worked really well. Fascism, for those of you that don't know, or even care, is a totalitarian form of government in which all power is centralized in the hand of one individual. What was bad about it is that it was based on extreme nationalism. These ideas still persist today. This same train of thought goes into Nazism, which was basically nationalism (you all know this) with somewhat of a socialist twist (industrial army and so on.) There are Nazis and Fascists still out there in this world today. War didn't kill the ideas, because you can't kill an idea. And, by the way, the 1st Ammendment to the US Constitution protects people's right to believe these things. Anyone heard of Aryan Nation? The Church of Jesus Christ Christian? Wikipedia them and see what you find. Essentially Nazis claiming the divine right of white people to rule the earth.

War won't kill an idea.

Communism. Anyone heard of Cuba? Because it's a communist country. Actually, if you're heard of the Bay of Pigs, they actually beat US. Go figure. Vietnam? Yeah, they're communist too. And I am of the opinion that there's nothing inherently wrong with communism, it's dorks that rush it and don't know how it works.

So.

Let's not say what war did and didn't do. It has resulted in millions of lives lost, served as events used for political and economic gain, and reinforced cultural riffs that have led to even MORE wars.

Ok. Sorry, ya'll.

I just really hate war. I see it's use, I just don't like how it's used.

day 121 I almost bought it today

2008-01-21T22:17:00.000-08:00

Another eventful day. Woke up early, finished my reading on Rousseau, forgetting to put my shoes or socks on. As I tried to arrange a hike in the Chuckanuts, I was turned away by the lady at the dining hall. Apparently they won't let you in if you're not wearing shoes, although I'm pretty sure that I could get in no sweat if it had been a student at the counter.

Anyway.

Got a hike arranged (YAY) and got out to enjoy the not-a-cloud-in-the-sky goodness. However, I had the urge to jump off something (what else is new?) and jumped over a creek, probably a 10-12 foot gap, jumping from about 5 feet up. I spotted my landing really well, except that I didn't land there. I landed right on the arch of my foot and collapsed at the impact, thankful that I had worn hiking boots, because I could have broken my ankle without the support that hiking boots provide. So I figure I just rolled it, with kind of a fragile feeling in that ankle as I hiked another 4 miles.

Resolving to take it easy, I didn't do much for the rest of the afternoon. But I got an urge to go skating, so I just went and did that and my ankle doesn't feel like it should. Oh Well. Life will go on, I suppose.

That's all. Oh, read Simon's blog. He does a really good job, a lot to say, and does a good job communicating it clearly.

eastcoastbusinesstrip0108.blogspot.com

Day 120 You Thought You'd Never See The Day...

2008-01-20T20:12:00.000-08:00

Ok. I know that all six (or so) of you know me. You know my musical taste. You know I'm a classic rock/country sort of a guy. You know I love a solid bass line, tasteful guitar riffs, and tight harmonies. You've been in the car, turned on rap music, and I've shuddered and rocked like a child who's night-light has just burned out.

I went on iTunes and bought a rap CD. Yes. You just read that correctly. No. Joke.

So let me explain. I went snowboarding on Thursday, hitching a ride with a skier named DJ (yes, it's funny) who played rap the entire time. I didn't like much of it. I didn't need to hear about how many girls various rappers had "fooled around with" the night before, how many people they had killed, or how tough they were, rampant with swearing and dissrespect. Then DJ played a song with a rhythm I latched onto immediately. The guy doing the rapping was talking about stuff I understood, a song about injustice, political stuff, how everything is messed up in the world and it's our responsibility to get off our butts and do something about it. I identified with it so much, I logged the name into my memory to check out later: Blue Scholars.

The whole CD was like this. Political references everywhere, what he loved about his girl was not her body (according the the lyrics, at least,) but what she stood for, how she cared for others, how she wasn't scared to get on a bull horn in the street yelling "Power to the people." Socialist rhetoric was scattered throughout, and one of my favorite lyrics was a reference to Reagan's "trickle-down economics" (tax cuts for the rich in order to 'stimulate' the economy.)

Yeah, there's a few swear words in it, but not enough for iTunes to flag it as explicit.

So look it up. You may not think it's worth much. But keep in mind that country-rock lovin' Brandon thought it was worth enough to buy it.

118- Some Random Stuff

2008-01-18T14:47:00.000-08:00

Went snowboarding yesterday. The snow was great, the company was good, and I learned of a few fun spots to hit, including an awesome cornice probaby 15 ft off the ground, covered in powder and an uber-soft landing. That's...pretty much it. The only thing that could have been better would have been about a foot of new snow, as well as not feeling the effects of the few drinks I had the night before.

Really random thought. I don't know if you all are aware, but the Eagles are my favorite band, and I think you should all know that their new two-disc album Long Road Out Of Eden, really is phenominal. The title cut is my favorite song on the album, and it just oozes with Don Henley's voice and lyrics. If you haven't heard much Eagles (and this is what I love about Henley,) they incorporate a lot of history into their songs; they actually go out and research the subject material. I really urge you to listen to it. If they didn't only sell it at Wal-Mart, I'd tell you to go buy it just because I say so. I got it for Christmas. That's why I have it, because I know you were wondering.

Been down the road to Damascus
The road to Mandolay
Met the ghost of Ceaser on the Appian Way.
He said "It's hard to stop this binging
once you get a taste.
But the road to empire is a bloody, stupid waste."

I love it. So much. Just so you know, the point of the song is how things keep getting worse and we're oblivious to it in this modern day and age, where everyone talks about things getting better, technology, oil companies making big profits, and capitalism basically consuming everything: "We're riding to Utopia, road map says we'll be arriving soon."

Ok, So I just realized I'm a nerd and have read The Communist Manifesto four times. So, according to Marx, once capitalism has gotten to it's peak, the proletariat (working class) will overthrow everything and take the means of production and redistribute it amongst everyone in the society. ANYWAY. Communism was HEAVILY influenced by More's Utopia.

That's it. Peace out, happy Friday.

Day 115

2008-01-15T22:19:00.000-08:00

Got my excersize today with two hours of skating. I'm very tired. Exhausted. I've kicked my butt the last few days. I think that's all I really have to say. Tomorrow's the big 2-1. It's also the longest day of the week. We'll see what happens.

113

2008-01-13T21:21:00.000-08:00

Last night, having snowboarded yesterday and after two movies and four cups of coffee, it was decided that sleeping was just not going to happen for a few more hours. So, four of us who deemed it necessary to expel a certain amount of energy decided upon a hike up Sehome Hill, about a 3/4 mile each way. Departing the dorm at about 1:30 AM, we arrived back at about 3:30, at which point I promptly fell asleep. My comrades, I'm told, stayed up until 7:45. AM. That's past late. That's early.

So I woke up at about ten, noticed it was sunny, and immediately began formulating a plan to get outside for a few hours of outdoor recreation, despite the copious amounts of reading that I've been assigned, and still have yet to complete. Upon our leaving church, I decided a hike would be a good idea, and called a friend to make it happen. It turned out that four of us ended up hiking to Fragrance Lake (which in reality is anything but,) as well as catching an amazing view of the San Juans with the dark, craggy outline of Olympic Mountains visible in the distance. In addition, three of us have an interest in geology and knew enough to tell sort of what was going on, which made the whole thing more interesting. All in all, it was a joy to break in the hiking boots I acquired over a year ago, treking through inches of muddy-muck and jumping off of a sweet moss-covered log almost ten feet up. Hikers, I had an awesome time.

Now I'm exhausted and have the bulk of my reading done, but I must now attend to the rest.

Day 112- Tired Already

2008-01-12T19:50:00.000-08:00

Went snowboarding today up at Mt Baker for the first time. I was eager to see how it compared to Mt Hood, and the answer is that it just doesn't. Chutes, cliffs, deep snow, it's got it all, and you don't have to look very far to find all of it. The first run of the day was AMAZING, riding in fresh powder up to mid-thigh. It was a little heavy, but that's the Northwest for you. At first, this was tolerable. But later on as the snow continued to fall and turned to rain the runs got more choppy, the snow got heavier, my pants soaked through for the first time since I bought them 2 years ago, my legs are simply not in snowboard shape yet, and riding a true-twin tip park board with edges that haven't been tuned in 4 years doesn't help either. In short, while I was certainly impressed with the rugged experts-only terrain, the snow was less than stellar, so the day was somewhat short. It'll be sick in the spring when it's sunny.

I returned to the dorms to discover the Seahawks game on, and I fell asleep to the 'Hawks getting whomped on by the Packers. Went to dinner, and (Western students will know what I'm talking about) as I went to swing over the stairs on the pizza side of the dining hall, I lost my grip, stretched out and landed at the bottom of the stairs flat on my back, laughing SO hard. Everyone (lucky there were no girls I was attempting to impress) gazed down at me, all with that "Oh Junk, I want to laugh but I want to make sure he's ok" look. I swore I must have seemed drunk.

And now I'm here, and if people are around, it'll be a late night again. Get up, go to church in the morning since I didn't go to CCF.

My shoulder hurts. And my knee.

Day 110

2008-01-10T17:06:00.000-08:00

My hands are crusty and hurt from climbing the rock wall for the first time in three months.

Having gone to all my classes so far, I can safely say that this quarter is going to be a lot of really hard work. I have lots of books to read, lots to write, and lots to do outside of class.

I again regret to inform you that I really don't have anything to write about even remotely interesting. Oh. Here's something...

Here's a list of things I didn't need to see yesterday, but did, and in an educational setting, nonetheless.

*Little boys digging holes in the ground and humping them. No worries on this one, they had clothes on.
*Little boys comparing..."part".. characteristics
*A naked woman having a seizure
*A 10 year old girl reaching into an old man's pants and saying "You can't milk a bull, Uncle Octavio."
*A cat being tethered to a coat hanger and being smashed by a guy's head. The guy looked up with gunk all over him... smiling.

Among other things.

Yeah. You didn't need to know that...

But I just told you

HAHA!

I still don't know what I learned from said film.