Day 190

My last full day in town.  Strangely, I think I'll miss it.  I love Bellingham a lot, but I've done some hanging out in the last few days and really had fun.

I haven't done much otherwise.  I'm hungry now, so I should probably go eat.  

I'm really excited to climb tomorrow and not have to pay to do so.  Very exciting.  I do have to pay my room and board though... BUM DEAL.  School has completely wiped out my bank account.  I guess it'll do that.

188

This is the part of being home that I have long dreaded: the point at which I have nothing to do.

I can think of people I'd like to hang out with, but I am certain of their unavailability.  I would love to go bouldering today, but I don't particularly want to go by myself.  I'll probably saddle up and go anyway.  

I've been trying to follow the news more closely since I've been home.  I have noticed that I follow it a bit more when I'm in Vancouver.  Maybe for the lack of other things to do.  Maybe because I have a giant awesome computer to look at and play with.  Man, I want a Mac something fierce.  Everything just looks better on them.

I am going to attempt at acquiring a mountain bike this weekend.  We'll see how that goes.  

I have noticed that since I have started climbing, joints that I didn't even know I had have been popping like crazy. There's a few at the base of my neck, my shoulder, my arms.  I have a pretty good feeling that all the fun I had when I was in my 20's is going to catch up to me when I'm 80. Or 40.

Now I'm going to talk to my mom before I go to the rock gym.  Alone.  Lame.  But better than sitting around here for the afternoon doing nothing.    

187, Posting with Regard to 186

Today was very boring until I received a call from my friend Jessica, just back from Australia.  Sweet.  Hang out.  

Coffee was hilarious.  Jessica was trying to teach us (Her cousin, her sister, and I) how to do a Tim-Tam Slam.  It is basically this really random Australian thing where you suck up coffee with a cookie, then shove the cookie in your mouth before it falls apart.  She neglected to tell me that it would fall apart should I fail to put it in my mouth in time.  My coffee then became a nasty chunky mess.  

Anyway, when the coffee meeting adjourned, I hadn't planned on being REALY bored again, so I went out to Jessica's place to watch a movie.  The same people were involved as earlier, except another really loud and hilarious cousin of Jessica's, as well as Jessica's boyfriend.  This presence of the significant other was actually not awkward at all, and I wish it were always that way.  

The movie, "Blonde Ambition" as I recall it, was terrible.  Just for the record. There wasn't anything dodgy in it.  It was just BAD.

We then jumped into a car and drove around listening to Kanye West, whom I've decided I dislike immensely.  Luckily towards the end of the car ride it was Josh Turner, which I know all the words too.  Fantastic.  And MCR, too, which I don't like as much but I got to fling around my flowing red locks, so that was fun.

When I left at about 1:00 it was snowing.  

Bed at about 2:00.  Woke up at about 11:00.  

I'm sleeping pretty well here.

I should probably finish my coffee and go skateboard before it starts raining or snowing.  It looks like the latter.

125, but 126 according to the date

I'm tired, so I'll be brief.

Went climbing/bouldering today with my friend Tyler the Pirate.  It was awesome to reconnect with him, since I haven't actually talked to him and spent time reconnecting in probably...well, the last time we went snowboarding.  So last March sometime (WOW!)  Anyway, that was a ton of fun.  I got my workout and didn't feel like I wasted $10 for two hours at the rock gym.  Sweet place. Lots of fun routes.  

Just got back from readthrough/movie watching/party-ish thing.  That was fun, movie was pretty boring until the end.  

And now I sleep.  

184

Nothing especially awesome happened today.  I woke up at about 10, showered (soaped this time, Ryan) and sat down at the computer with a rather large cup of coffee.  I am so glad to have this luxury back.

Read that G.W. gave the OK to sell Kosovo weapons and actually yelled at him through my computer screen.  Seriously.  In a region of the world so characterized by violence, you'd think someone would realize it's simply not time to sell the them the tools to make it worse.

Tibet is starting to get pretty wild too.  I'm pretty angry the U.S. has accepted the invitation and is OK with having the Olympics in China, actually. The consequences of appeasement may outweigh the benefits.  

I should just stop reading the news.  I only get riled up when I do.   

Otherwise.

Summer plans.  I am to be an intern at Glenwood Community Church this summer and will be working with the youth as they do raft camps and hang out, as well as whatever setup and errands in between.  I'll be taking rafts full of high/ middle schoolers down a river full of white-watery goodness, as well as having a hand in the music there.  Needless to say, I am SO excited. God totally dropped the opportunity in my lap, and it fits PERFECTLY what I want to do with my last summer before I graduate.   So there's a praise.

Also, I will be getting money BACK this year on my tax return.  Last year I owed money, which was lame because I didn't have any then.  Now I have none, and I get some back.  Sweet.  Another Praise.

Didn't go anywhere. Just stayed at home, played music, and skateboarded. The plan is to go to the rock gym tomorrow, but we'll see what happens.

Day 183- Easter. All Day.

Got up smokin' early this morning, which for me is about anytime before about 8.  Regardless, the first thought that entered my mind was "Easter.  Coffee."  

Needless to say, I was so excited that I think I forgot to soap myself in the shower, but I put on deodorant, so while it may not have done the full deed, I did not receive any negative comments.

Anyway.  Drank coffee.  Read the newspaper.  Life was awesome.  Thank you Jesus for comin' outta that grave.

First service was early, at church by 8.  A good Sunday.  I got to see some old friends and reconnect a bit.  

Next mission: clean the house.  Not to say that it was dirty, but the last thing I needed to hear today was my mother (whom I had previously been made aware I was picking up from the airport) griping about a dirty house.  So I cleaned. And did laundry.  Fun.  

Got Starbucks on the way to get my mother, because I knew I might as well get a shot of caffeine into my system.  This kicked in about an hour later, while I was sitting in the international arrivals section of the airport reading "Mein Kampf" laughing at the nonsense it contained.  I, as a result, was darned close to being SuperSon when my mother and sister arrived on the plane back from France an hour later than scheduled.  Mom had lost her bag. I took the steps necessary in tracking down it's whereabouts.  I carried things, I bought them coffee, and just tried to be nice and not talk about anything that was too involved.  Like Hitler's transition to anti-semitism.

Just got back from a friend's house where a brew and a game were in order, where I tasted the much-discussed Anchor Porter, which I recommend HIGHLY. I lost the game though.  When I saw what the board looked like, I just stopped caring and knew I didn't have a chance.  

It's been a long day, and I'm tired.  

  

I shall eat some of my parents food and retire for the evening.  

182= 100 Posts This Year!

I guess that means I've missed 82 days, but I don't care.  Not enough to make 82 extra entries anyway.

I have no idea what I'm going to do today.  I've received a few propositions in regard to evening activity, but I have yet to reconcile to actual events to unfold.  Food is on the agenda.  I have been thinking of pitching a trip to the Rhinelander to the fellas, but the time has yet to come when I decide to do actually anything about it.

Yesterday was Good Friday.  I guess it's good for us in some sense of the word, and I suppose it allowed God to have a direct relationship with man, but boy is it sobering.  That a perfect God would take human form and live in the muck and mire of this world, then die a brutal death by the hands of those he came to save just blows my mind.

Here's this - I chew on this every time I think of the crucifixion-  If I were in the crowd in front of Pilot (spelled wrong but bear with me) knowing then what I know now (this being that Jesus was God incarnate, the Savior, who came to take all of my sins from me and sacrifice himself so that I could have a one-on-one relationship with the Father [which I take for granted sometimes]) what would my action be.  I could run and hide like most of the disciples did.  I could yell "Crucify!" along with the majority.  I could merely be silently supportive of the actions of the crowd.  If I protested for Christ's innocence. and somehow he was set free, our right to eternal life-after-death hangs in the balance.  

I still don't know what I would do.  

I want to put something else down here, though I'm not sure I have anything to say on the subject that actually makes sense.  But I'm gonna go for it anyway.  George Strait is playing.  

I had a history professor- two, actually- that talked about anti-semitism and judeophobia this quarter (if you want to know the difference, I'll tell you sometime.) One strongly held that judeophobia's roots were religious in nature, that Christian Europe blamed Jews for Christ's death.  This may have some validity to it.  I tend to think it was economic due to the slight Marxist in me, but I didn't live in the time of the Crusades and before so I'm really not any authority of the subject.  However.  I hereby renounce this notion that the Jews and Jews alone killed Christ as wholly bogus.  We're all sinful.  Christ came-and died- to save US.  EVERY. HUMAN.  In that, we're all responsible for his death.  If I'm spitting bologna, let me know. 

Ok.  Change of topics.  An exciting opportunity came up for my summer which as most of you know was entirely up in the air.  I will let you know when I've got a better idea of what it's gonna look like. 

I am thinking of braving the non-farm grown eggs in the fridge to satisfy my hunger needs at this moment.  I backed away earlier, but it may have to happen.  The last I ate was about 10:30 last night (I made it 24 hours, though I had hoped to make it longer,) so I'm a little hungry.  

Let me know if an event is unfolding this evening.  

181. Writing from the 'Couve.

The 'Couve.  Oh my.  It's a love-hate relationship really.  

Drove in last night and went straight to the Mooch for an Oregon Burrito.  And my, was it glorious.  I had a pretty fun ride down, too, which isn't the norm, and I think what made it awesome was that no one complained.  One of my passengers had been up for over 36-straight hours working on art projects, and the other passenger was a girl whom I had never met, but was super nice and talked most of the way.

Now, I'm sitting in my kitchen wanting coffee.  Again.  You'd think I'd be over this.

I now must embark on a mission to get a present for my sister's birthday.  Which is today, and that I had forgotten about.  

If anyone wants to climb some rocks, go on a hike, or go out for a brew, coffee or some-such activity, give me a call.  The latter two I can't do tonight, though.  

Anyway.

Cheers.

 

179

Yesterday was interesting. I was basically moving all day long, which was good, because I hadn't really moved since Friday. I kicked my day off at about 10 with turning in my War and Peace final, then went straight to the rock wall. I was wiped out after about a half hour, but I made a friend who felt like pushing me, so I kept going. Two hours later, I was wiped out for sure. I went to lunch, then realized it was sunny and went on a hike. On the way back down, I randomly met some friends and we walked around looking for things to boulder. We didn't get any done, since all the rocks were wet, which makes things difficult. As a result, we slipped around like crazy while looking for spots.

I must here mention the Curse of the First Aid. My friend had Allison brought her first aid kit with her. I laughed at her prepared-ness, considering I always figured if I was gonna hurt myself hiking, it would be beyond what first aid could take care of. Turns out there's a tendency for those who make fun of Allison's first aid kit to need that first aid kit shortly after they make fun of it.

I laughed this off.

I did not expect to go blitzing up a path and not notice the dead branch sticking out into the trail until I hit it with my face. I felt the branch "boing" and I doubled over backwards. No one saw me fall, which was a bummer, but they heard all heard it. I sat up and thought I had destroyed my teeth. But no. It was my nose that was bleeding profusely. Allison had also been trained in first aid, so the bleeding stopped eventually while I laughed at my misfortune. Meanwhile, my lip has swollen up and bruised on the inside.

I arrived back on campus, and having missed dinner, made some Mac and Cheese. I won't go into details, but due to events which unfolded inbetween my returning and my dinner, I became increasingly irritated and grumpy. I've found out that a great way to relieve myself of tension and anger without blogging and saying something dumb is to take it out on something else, and preferably, while certainly not purposely, hurt myself in the process. Simply put, this keeps me from hurting others verbally. I'd say it's worth the pain in order to keep others from hurting. The result was a return trip to the rock wall, where I climbed until my climber's elbow began to return, not just in my right arm, but also in my left. Sweet. I was hurting and feeling good.

The group of the four of us walked down to Haggan for food and due to the lack of anything better to do.

My day ended at about 2:00 AM. I was glad it was over.

Today, I have just been studying all day. Due to my arms and the fact that I got a cramp while sitting down studying, I've decided to take the day off from climbing. At least that's the plan. We'll see how long it is before I crack and need physical activity. Actually, I'm gonna go skateboard right now.

177

So glad that today is over. It's all downhill from here.

That's it. I thought I had more to say. But I don't.

Day 175

Today and yesterday were a little rough. I did have a ton of fun last night, but otherwise I've just done a lot of school work. I've seen four (really terrible) movies. I've read probably half a book that I was supposed to read a while ago (oops), finished up a 12 pager, started an 8-12 pager, and tried to think of how I'm going to approach an in-class written final on Monday. I went on a walk to Fairhaven this afternoon, but I should have been hiking. I then turned around and prompty went to haul and stack wood at Mark's place. Anything to not study. I now have the excuse of not studying and say that my brain has shut down, as clearly evident in my cerebral flatulance. To make things seem a little bit better, I did come back and do some more writing before giving up about six minutes ago.

I don't know what the rest of my night has in store for me. We'll find out. Right now it's looking like I might have a beer and turn on a war movie or play guitar. I really want to watch We Were Soldiers or WindTalkers right now, but I don't own either of those films, and I'm the only one around here who watches war movies.

In response to a comment by Mr Simon a few days ago, yes, I do intend to return to drinking coffee. I still love the stuff. However, I realize that it plays an important role in my life, and you have no idea how hard it is to get through Dead and Finals weeks and not have any significant amounts of caffeine enter my blood stream, especially when you're used to it in the quantities that I am. As a result it's a significant cutback: one mug in the morning, and that's it for the rest of the day. There's a comfort to it too, because it's soooo nice to hang out at the kitchen table or school desk and have a cup of coffee to sip at while reading the morning paper or chat with a friend.

I seriously CAN NOT wait until I can have coffee again. I am SO excited.

It's only 10:33 now.

The night is still young.

Day 173

My hands hurt. I went climbing twice today, which I probably shouldn't have done. But I feel better now, so that's good. I was able to get one of my papers done, which is good, but this weekend is going to be a pain in the butt for me. Forecast to be rainy and cold, I will likely be in my room and in the library for most of it, poring over papers, watching movies for class that I didn't watch when I was supposed to, and attempting to stay awake without the normally present aid of immense amounts of coffee (ONE MORE WEEK!)

Working on papers, climbing, and trying not to go crazy have been my primary concerns in the past week. I rolled out of bed this morning just as my first class got started, quickly texted my friend and told her I wouldn't be there. Luckily it wasn't a lecture day, so I'm feeling a little bit better about that. It was a much needed change of pace, though, and gave me plenty of extra time to work on my paper. I think I mentioned I finished it too. YAY!

Watched a movie with a friend, so that was nice.

Didn't do much else.

Nothing deep to talk about today.

Sorry.

170

I think it was Friday night when I had my revelation into my own existance. I've been mulling it over for a few days, and here goes.


But first, some background.


For those who know me, which I presume would be all of you, you know that I'm a single guy. For awhile actually. Actually, my last relationship of which to speak was the first week of my freshman year in high school. It lasted about that long as well: a week. Hardly a relationship, so I don't really count it. This is the extent of the dating I've done in the last 7 years. My attempts at high school romance abruptly ended when I was shot down via instant message my senior year. Since, I won't say I haven't looked, but I haven't tried. I simply had too many things to do, full-time school, full-time work, worship team, college group, friends, snowboarding, etc. I knew I was leaving in two years for university. I'd get a dog and drive with his head hanging out the window of a Chevy pickup truck.


When I came up to college, I figured I'd have a fresh start. Maybe meet a nice hippy girl, we'd go pick up garbage and commune with nature, slack line, talk about politics, bash the Establishment, talk Marxism and about why capitalism sucks. I found myself wanting a relationship, but never actually having the cajones to talk to that pretty girl in class. I heard about girls liking me but didn't care. I maintained the same mindset as I had had at Clark College, essentially. I was (and am) scared of girls. They were a distraction. A tie-down, if you will. They would keep me from what two goals I had - travel with my dog (which I've not yet acquired) and settling in the mountains.


I basically didn't want to work for it. I just wanted to have fun.


On winter break, I sat down and had a lengthy conversation with my grandpa on this exact subject. This was the turning point for me. I won't go into the details of the conversation, but what eventually came out was for me to realize that I couldn't be alone forever.


I began to be interested. Actively interested for once. You know what it did? It made winter quarter suck. I had my fair share of fun, but always in the back of my mind was "Does this girl like me? What about what she said that one time when we did this?" I hated my spinelessness as I began to marginalize my faith for the sake of my own likability. I was selling out. And I knew it. I became a jerk due to my irritability. I was always worried, and worry would flare up when I realized I had a paper due. Like now.

Which actually brings me to now.

I like girls. I'm terrified of them, and I'm terrified I'll never find one that's worth the guts it took to say hi in the first place. But I was happier with the notion I'd be single forever. It gave me an excuse to be scared. I never pursued, and I was fine with that. And while I do need to get over myself and being scared (I mean, seriously, the worst that could happen is they could say "Go away you loser") I'm content with being single for now. If things work out with someone in the next year and a half, sweet. If not, sweet. I really don't care. Yeah, there's someone right now I'm interested in. But pushing it toward a dating relationship right away is just not going to make things happen the way God intended them to. Again, if things work out, sweet. If not, totally fine with that.

Otherwise, I've been realizing I don't do well with people around me ALL THE TIME. Such is living in the dorms. And such will be being a resident advisor. I just need to figure out a balance. One thing is for sure, though. Next year, I'll have my own room. And in that room will NOT be a TV.

Someone should disconnect my internet too.

168-Hyped Up and Headachey

I've been dealing with some strange things lately. Feelings I didn't know I had that I'm still not sure that I do. I hurt all over, my active lifestyle finally catching up to me. Spiritual battles that bring me closer to the Father. It's within the context of stress, finals, deadlines for papers, sunshine, and being in contact with good friends that I've learned some pretty important things about myself in the last few days. Mainly what I want to get from this life, and what my expectations were of the college experience.

Right now, I'm on the crash from the about 6 Airhead that I devoured about an hour ago. Immediate result: WOOHHOO. Long term effect: OH MY, my head hurts.

I actually have to go study now, since my tea is done. I will formulate these things which I have learned tomorrow evening or possibly Monday.

166

I have been in a little bit of a funk lately. I don't know why, although I have realized it. It took my roommate saying something pretty uncharacteristic to snap me out of it, because I really wasn't being nice to him.

I suppose school is stressing me out a little bit. Not too much, and it should look better to me after the weekend because I'll have my other papers done.

I broke my rule for myself, and when rock climbing was proposed by a stack mate I hesitantly agreed. I had tons of fun though, meeting a friend there on accident who is a pretty good climber and a SUPER cool guy. I had a good day, and spent it mostly trying this one that required jumping twice, once to the side, and the other straight up. I wound up getting it right after my friend, and it's the coolest feeling to get a route you've been trying for a while. I sang really loud right afterward "You're my inspiraaaation!"

Yeah it was funny.

It's bedtime now. Tomorrow's Friday. THANK GOODNESS

165

Of course, it had to be sunny today, and I have been in class. Well, I hopped on a slackline that some people had set up, but otherwise I've done pretty much nothing. I did manage to do a bit of research this morning, but after dinner, I have to get going hard-core on a history paper for one of my classes. It's not going to be difficult, I would just rather spend the time researching for my other paper, studying, or, better yet, hanging out and doing nothing.

I'm committed myself to rest and study for the next few days, which both blows, since I have an enormous amount of pent-up energy that must be discharged preferably while communing with nature or climbing, and is awesome, since I have a ton of studying I have to do, and I've got a right arm that really hurts after I've climbed for about a half hour. That really needs to heal so I don't rip my tendon in half. So, even though I don't like it, I really need a rest from my immense amounts of physical exhertion.

I had a thought today. It was epic, but I can't actually remember what it was right now.

I think it was science related. But I can't be sure.

I'll let you know if I remember.

Day 164- Bittersweet

Today was cloudy turned sunny, and it happened to turn sunny while I was hiking. AAWWW YEAH. I did have to go by myself again, and was once more bummed at my friend for having something school-oriented to do, but I managed. I also bought rock shoes and an REI membership, running me about $100 that I am going to need a little bit later. Pretty fun stuff.

Why is it that whenever someone doesn't want to do something, they say they have school stuff to work on? "Oh, I'm sorry, my meeting got rescheduled, I can't make it." or "Dude, so sorry, but I have a four page paper due tomorrow and I haven't even started yet." LAME. Studying is the ever present thing you should be doing, but never actually do.

So I have a ton of stuff to do, but I'm gonna go skateboard instead. Because I don't want to study.

162

These next few weeks are going to be a royal pain in the butt. For real.

I went to church this morning, which always seems to be awkward. I feel like a visitor at Glenwood, and while I enjoy it, it's just...different. Talking to people you haven't seen in awhile is sort of weird.

Drove back north, singing along to Brad Paisley, Garth Brooks, Counting Crows, and random other songs. Man I love singing. I'm certainly terrible at it, but it's a blast.

I never thought climbing could feel so good. I'm seriously addicted. It felt so good to get on that wall again this evening, even if I did have to climb by myself. It feels good to conquer routes that have stumped you for three days in a row.

So here I am. Checking facebook and blogging instead of reading and writing like I'm supposed to.

Meh.

I'll make it. It's supposed to be a beautiful week mostly, so hopefully I'll still be able to get stuff done.

And hike. WOOT

161

I spent yesterday in my truck driving back down to Vancouver.  I went out with some buddies last night, my first night of pub-experience.  It was nice to get out and chill with people I haven't seen in awhile.

Otherwise, not much has been going on.  I forgot how much fun it was to play my Fender Telecaster, so I'm bringing that back up with me, as well as an amp possibly.  We'll see what the roomie says.  

I should be reading, but don't really want to.  

Hopefully this evening I'll get to hang out with some more of the fellas, which is the plan, but we haven't really formulated a plan at this point. 

I want to be rock climbing SO BAD right now.  I just feel my arms getting weaker, and I've resolved to get good at it.  I probably should let my muscles heal though.

Ok.  I have nothing else to say of any value whatsoever.  

Cheers.