231-GROSS

It's warm here, but cloudy and is threatening rain. Thankfully I've got another day to study up on school stuff, because Monday is midterm day. SICK.

This weekend being Mother's Day, this university pretty much died. In my walk to the library today to work on a paper I saw one person, and there's normally people out and moving by 1 in the afternoon on a Saturday. The weather isn't awesome either, so maybe that has something to do with it.

I feel like I'm having an off-day. I think I know what my issue is, but I can't seem to pin it down completely.

OH. Today was my first day in three days that I had coffee, which proves that I can DEFINITELY function without it. Strange thing is that I felt pretty good until about two hours ago. I guess I crashed. Maybe I need to dump this stuff completely...we'll see what happens.

I'm off to do some exploring to relieve myself of the ever nagging feeling that I really should be studying. I've done a fair amount already, so I feel justified.

Golly, it looks gross outside.

Where are all the people!?

229

As a part of my Resident Advisor class I was mandated to pay for a personality test, specifically the Meyer-Briggs Type Indicator, or the MBTI for short, because everyone loves acronyms. I have so many acronyms floating around in my noggin that I wonder how I remember them all.

So I'm an ENFP: Extraverted-Intutitive-Feeler-Perceiver. I have taken this test before, and when I took it then I was an ESFP, which means I was sensory instead of intuitive. Either way, I'm right on the line in between the two, with a slight inclination toward intuition. I can't say I'm surprised, because I knew I had changed in that area.

Sensors and intuitives basically take in information in different ways. Here's the difference: intuitives tend to take a big picture approach to information, then filling in the gaps with facts and figures. Sensors do things the opposite way: they take in all the little tidbits of information and build up to the big picture using those facts.

I was in class today taking notes and had this in mind. I found myself writing down the main idea, then just listening to the statistics without writing them down, because I've always taken notes this way. That doesn't mean the minute details don't matter, because they do. But they support the big picture, which is what I'm interested in.

The other thing I want to talk about (surely you all know that I'm an extravert) is the clearest segment of my personality. While I did have high scores in Extraversion and Feeling (I make my decisions through compassion and identifying with people. I know. Another shocker,) the most clear segment of my personality was perceiving. This means, simply, that I don't plan things. I don't like schedules because I find them limiting. I want to take life as it comes instead of being overly prepared to deal with every problem that may come up. "P" could also stand for procrastinator :-P.

I've talked a fair amount in this blog about taking life as it comes and how schedules and goals limit life as it was meant to be lived. While I still really enjoy this approach to life, I must apologize to those who want to live life differently than I do. You are living life no less by scheduling it out.

I still like spontanaeity :-D it lets you go outside when it's sunny and get sunburnt while rock climbing shirtless in one of the most beautiful spots I know.

228

Within the course of the last few days, I've come to a realization about myself. It has come about that in more than one case I have been somewhat of the go-to guy in times of crises. So I sit in my broken, no-armed-no-backed rolley chair and I listen intently until they're done talking. Which would mean that it becomes my turn to talk at some point. However, I find myself without words with which to comfort the distressed.

I've never had a girlfriend, and thus I've never had to deal with the termination of a romantic relationship. My parents love eachother and have for more than 23 years, which means there's no divorce that I've had to deal with, and thus no jumping in between homes. I don't really get angry even when provoked, I've never done drugs, and my high school seemed devoid of drama.

And so when it comes time to say "I know what you're going through," I can't, because that would be lying. As a result, what I end up saying is "I don't know what to say. I've never experienced anything like that, and I can't imagine what you're going through."

In some cases this is adequate, because really the person came to talk to me because they knew I would listen. In other cases my response merely makes the situation seem worse. Then they talk some more. I ask questions, then listen to their responses.

I know I'm supposed to love them like Jesus, that I don't have all the answers to life's questions. But I really just have nothing to say. I feel that nothing I can say can make them feel better about their situation.

I know I can't solve every problem, but I at least want to help the person enough to where they can leave the room and feel glad that they came in to spend time with me, even if their problem isn't solved.

On the flip side, some people have been through some pretty lame experiences. I don't have to have gone through them to know that they suck. I just wish I had something more constructive to say to them.

Jesus loves you, this I know / For the Bible tells me so
Little ones to him belong / They are weak, but he is strong

226-RANDOM

Slow down, you're crazy child,
Take the phone off the hook and disappear for awhile.
It's alright, you can afford to lose a day or two.
When will you realize Vienna waits for you?

I love this segment of the Billy Joel song "Vienna." Vienna is a metaphor for the rest of your life, and it's about people that spend their whole life worrying themselves to death about their direction in life, living life like a checklist of things to do. Terrible. At least to me.

This coming from the guy who climbs his body into a hole and hikes until he can't anymore.

Anyway, today is Cinco de Mayo. Which in America is really just an excuse to shoot tequila and eat copious amounts of Mexican food. I used to know what Cinco de Mayo meant. I know it's not the Mexican Independance Day. I seem to recall there being something to do with peasants defeating an invading army, which would have likely been French or Spanish, but I don't know for sure.

I was going to do a post on immigration, but I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say within the course of the last eight hours.

It had something to do with loving people.

224-Gotta Say, I'm a Little Confuzzled...

Upon a reheat of my coffee, I heard a loud *POP* and opened the door to the microwave to find coffee dripping from the ceiling of said appliance...random.

I have done just about nothing today. No, really. I took a rest day. A real Sabbath. Which for me is just about unheard of. I don't know what I think of it, because I mostly just felt tired. I took a nap, read a bunch, cleaned my desk out, listened to the music I wanted to listen to (my roommate is out of town,) and basically just thought about stuff.

Words cannot express the beauty I see when I look out my window. It rained all day. The fog blanketted the hills surrounding the university. I don't remember watching anyone walk past the football field that I can see. But as I finished my chapter of Soviet history, I looked out the window to see the sun hitting the tree tops, the sky turning pink in the fading light. Birds started chirping. Oh my, leaving this place will be hard! I only have a month and a half left, too.

I had one of my moments. One of the times in which I could just forget life and go do whatever I wanted without the concern for money and prior obligations. I have decided I don't really want stuff. I'll hang on to my bass, my guitars, my computer, and my iPod. Maybe I'll keep my truck. Meh. It's just stuff. It'll burn in the end. I still believe the real treasure of this life is centered in God-centered experiences and relationships.

Having a conversation with my friend at breakfast, I was asked what I was going to do when I graduate. It was the coolest thing ever to be able to say "I dunno. I go where I'm led" and actually mean it.

I'm so excited for life! I have no idea where I'll end up. But this next year is going to be AMAZING! I'm so content with life. I've got it made.

223-Kinda Grey

Today was somewhat of a low point in Brandon's spring quarter. I've been riding high for a really long time, so a tiny fluctuation in the amazingness could be counted as a low point. Anyway. I feel like I'm back on top of things. I would, however, like to find some good old fashioned fun tonight that doesn't involve sitting in front of a screen watching a movie.

I found out today that the United States is continuing to blow stuff up. I really struggle with this. Think of it however you want, in terms of U.S. citizens saved, or Somalian's killed. People are still dying.

I learned the other day that the United States develops $1.5 billion in debt a day.

Why can't we stop blowing stuff up and focus on feeding people?

222- Hey! Three Twos, One More Waste of Bandwidth

I know I haven't written too much in the last few days, and that's because not too much has happened. It's been not-raining for the last few days, so I've done a lot of being outside and goofing off. Rock climbing has worn me out and at the moment I'm genuinely tired of it. The last time I felt like this though, I was about to break V2, so I think I'm on the cusp of V3 (difficulty rating of bouldering routes, I think they go to V17...just so you know how terrible at this I am.)

I guess that an update on me would be that while I am having SO much fun this quarter, I'm having to work out some things and make some decisions about my future that I don't really want to make. I'm having to rely on God a TON and just follow where he's taking me, and trust him more than my own feelings and mind. I'll let you know what these things are when I have a more firm idea of what they look like and when I know what's going on with them.

Making friends everywhere. Man, I really love it up here. I'm going to miss it this summer.

I ate three pork carnitas for dinner. Which I shouldn't have done. But when the folks up here make something good, you eat as much as you can.