235

I'm writing after having gone through one of my worst days as a student at Western. Choices that I make as a person trying to follow Christ in a world that really could care less have finally brought me into conflict with those I try so desperately to reach, the conflict that Christ himself made known would happen. While I know that I did the right thing, some very hurtful things were said to me, and I have spent the day enduring the arrows of the Evil One, trying with everything I have to extinguish the flames. In some moments I have been able to triumph, in most I have failed, left walking in the Bellingham drizzle feeling utterly alone. I have taken a beating today, and Satan won't let up for as long as I live, let alone this evening.

In a little over two hours, my friend and I will be helping lead Core. This is immensely stressful for me. I was really excited about this yesterday: now I just want to walk in the woods with friends that emit positive energy while I trudge through this day feeling inadequate.

But my feelings of inadequacy and insecurity are a lie of the Devil! I'm amazing! Fearfully and wonderfully made! The God of the Angel Armies loves me enough to send his son to this sinful Earth to die the death of a criminal on my behalf. I have no choice but to turn to him for help, and I am called to do no less.

I will praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
You are who you are
no matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
you hold in your hands
You've never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm.