Day 69- First Snow of the Season

Yes. It's true. It's snowing outside, just as the weather-people predicted. Amazing. It's too bad that 1.) I don't have my snowboarding stuff up here, so I can't hit any jibs, and 2.) I really have too much school work to do to go out and play in it. We're up to about 2 inches, I reckon, and here I am in this room right now trying to focus on school stuff. See how well it's working?

I also am accutely aware of one more reason I can't focus: John is still in bed. I don't know why that bugs me, because it shouldn't. I guess I just want to turn on all the lights, open the window curtains, and not have to worry about waking him up. But I know he's awake. He's just laying there. Wasting time. Maybe that's what bugs me. That I am up being productive (kinda) and he's not. As we all know, it's all about me.

I promise, God put this guy in my life for a reason. It makes me uncomfortable to have to deal with this stuff, but I know I have to. John makes my faults incredibly evident. I am a lookist, judging people by their appearance. I am impatient with him, due to his seeming ignorance of social norms. The list goes on. Some days it's easier. Like when I don't have to be around him all the time. Again, it's all about me.

I'm a hypocrite. For all of my rhetoric on civil rights, tolerance, and treating others as I'd like to be treated, I'm guilty of the very practices which I speak against. And it drives me nuts.

This is where I need the help of the six (?) people that read my worthless entry on the internet. I need prayer. A lot. I can't live with this guy like this for another six months. A big step has been taken for me, and that's posting this entry. So. Pray that I would do something about this. Pray that I would rely on God more for feelings and actions that don't come easy.

John's up. This means that I can get back to my school stuff. The snow's done falling, too.