DAY 93 Christmas Day

I was finally able to get in somewhat of a Christmas spirit today. I drank a lot of coffee, ate a lot of ham, and watched the snow fall for about a half hour before reading a book I was given and playing my bass A LOT. Countdown, one week to not working. I do have an emissions test to pass, so I have to work on my truck a little. But I'll worry about that later. Uh. I'm hungry.

oooooooohhhh

FUUUUUUUUUUUUDDGE

"Only I didn't say fudge."

But I am going to go eat it.

Day 90...I think

So I'm exhausted. I've spent the last six days working full time at the music store doing what I used to; dealing with people's junk and talking to nice and friendly people (it's a mixed bunch.) I've had fun for the most part, excluding today when I had to dig through wet garbage in the Northwest drizzle, looking for something that was attached to a case that belonged to a customer. It shouldn't have been pulled off in the first place, but it was for some reason, and I dug for about a half hour before I gave up. I luckily didn't have to face the guy again, and someone else took care of it for me. The guy knew I was digging through trash, so he seemed a little nicer the last time I talked to him after I'd been out for 20 minutes. Everything else was ok. Restrings, talking to people, so on and so forth.

I noticed today that I am halfway hesitant to tell people"Merry Christmas." Because half the time I say it, people walk away from me uncomfortably. And I refuse to wish people a "nice holiday." Every once-in-a-while, someone smiles and says "Merry Christmas to you, too." It was great when Dale (former owner) said to "Put 'Merry Christmas' on the readerboard. Forget all this holiday bull s---."

"Yes, sir."

I don't know what it is. Why don't people call it what it freaking is? Because no one actually calls it "holiday" in their own house.

I'll just have to deal with it.

I'm hungry.

Day 86. I Really Don't Like Vancouver

So I'm back in Vancouver. I have gotten my job back at Beacock Music as a shop boy, although I do a lot of anything but what I used to. I've spent the last few days merch-ing. Which sucks, but it's work and it occupies my time nicely. I did get to go snowboarding on Saturday, and that was great, to get out with friends and have fun in the snow.

Don't have much else to say. I'm going to try not shaving until the 6th of January. Dirk-a-Lurk. Si-Guy. I am going to make your beards look full.

So we're watching The Santa Clause and my mom just started crying...like, happy moment-crying. And we're laughing at her. It's funny.

That's pretty much it. Taking it easy. I have three worship team rehearsals this week to get ready for Sunday. Fun.

82

DANGIT I just freaking got here and I miss Bellingham already. I do get to go snowboarding tomorrow, so that's exciting. It's also supposed to DUMP tonight.

So I'm currently watching Saving Private Ryan. And trying to figure out what else to do with myself. I have tried getting ahold of my boss to see if he has any work for me over break, and I've heard nothing back at all. So I may have to pursue working someplace else.

Um. That's it.

Day 81- What. In. The. World.?!

So these last few days have been kind of crazy socially. I was done with my finals yesterday morning, but wanted to jump off of a building when I figured out all the drama that came out of NOWHERE. David and Cameron, who were roommates, are now no longer roommates, as David has moved across the hall in with Mike, as there was an openning in his room. Now, Cameron has no roommate. I also have been hanging out with the 3rd-Floor Girls (as I call them, they live above me) and there is ALWAYS stuff wrong up there.

Remember John? Of course you do. Well, he wanted to stay until the 23rd of Dec. Problem is, as things currrently stand, he can't. So he's moving out to another place on campus that he can. OH. MY. GOODNESS! So I really feel like my mind and heart have been in the right place for the last few weeks, which is why it came as a kind of shock to me. It's nothing personal, and I know that. But we were just starting to talk more. I understand him better, and while he drives me batty sometimes, on the whole I feel like I've been good at loving him.

And he's moving.

Again, I know it's not personal, but the timing's SUUUPER wacky. I've been told by many people that if they were in my position, they would have been gone the first week of school, and that it's amazing that nothing's come up between us. I don't really think it's amazing. But anyway. What if he gets a new roommate that isn't as nice and lenient as I am? I suppose I am now worried about him. He's a big boy, and he can do what he wants without me interferring in his life.

As soon as he gets his room assignment, I am helping him move all of his stuff (there isn't that much of it, we're guys) into his new room, and to complicate things he has a Biology final at 2:30 and I am leaving at about 6 tonight to go home (HA Vanacouver isn't home, but that's where home cooked food and a bed are.) It's going to be an interesting day. It's probably a good thing that no one else is around, as half our suite has left. Less hanging out.

Maybe God's decided I can be a better friend to this guy if I'm not living with him. It'll be interesting to see what happens.

And we'll see who, if anyone, moves in with me to take John's place. It'll be hard to fill. I kinda like the guy.

Day 80- Finals Done, I can have fun now.

Woke up this morning for an 8 AM final, which I rocked, by the way. I then realized that it was somewhat dry, and decided to drive to the skatepark and get my shred on. I did pretty well for about an hour, until I knocked my knee with my skateboard. Hard. It was the kind of injury that didn't look like it hurt that much, but it did. It made me feel like I had to throw up, it hurt so much. I limped back to my truck, sat there for a second, then went and got gas and Starbucks, and here I am. If the weather stays ok, we might get a slackline going in a bit.

And that's it. I'm driving home tomorrow night. I think, because it's gonna start getting boring here pretty quick.

Day 76

Can someone explain to me exactly why Blackboard is down the weekend before finals??? This simply does not make sense, even to myself, as I fail to make sense a fair amount of the time.

I'm listening to Kenny Loggins right now, by the way. Just thought I'd let you know.

It had to be sunny today, because I actually have to stay in my room and work on finals. Maybe in awhile I'll go out and try to slackline, but it's sorta cold out.

I hurt myself a fair amount last night jumping off of a loading dock about three feet high. I managed to stick a kickflip off of it somehow, but I never got it as good as I wanted. I was hurting too much by the time I finally got it that I just called it good and rode away. I saw the rent-a-cops too, so I was pretty paranoid about getting caught and getting a ticket, since I'm not allowed to skateboard in the "Land of the Free."

Went to CCF last night, and we sang my favorite Christmas song "Oh Come, Oh Come, Emmanuel." It's my favorite as of now, pretty much because I just love the words, regardless of whether He already has come. The last line of one of the verses gets me every time "Bid thou our sad divisions cease, and be thyself our king of peace." Our something like that. Bid thou our sad divisions cease. I LOVE THAT. As I mentioned in an earlier post, fighting over dirt. That would be a sad division. Being mad at someone for something dumb they did. Sad division.

I'm sick of that stuff.

75

I love Bellingham on days like today. High of maybe 40 degrees, not a cloud in the sky. I love the way I feel on days like today. Breathing sort of stings, but it feels like it's doing some good. From the Viking Commons (one of the three places from which mediocre-terrible sustenance can be acquired) the view of B-ham Bay can be seen without obstruction, except by a seagull that likes to hang out at the window and watch us eat.

Just got done skating for about an hour and a half, so my legs are a little rubbery. I bombed down the hill at the Ridge all the way from the Ridgeway Commons (another one of the three places mediocre-terrible sustenance can be acquired.) It's a steep, windy road with numerous potholes that must by maneuvered around, and luckily there's enough room to powerslide in order to ditch some speed. Anyway. That was fun.

I'm gonna finish up a few things for homework now, before I head off to CCF tonight.

Day 73- My Contribution

I really just don't want to work on my finals right now. It's to the point, though, that I have don't just about everything there is to do. Reading used to be my excuse: I'm caught up on my reading. I've tapped out my brain on stuff to write for this blog. I think I should just unplug from the internet. Except that I need it to look stuff up for the papers.

Woke up this morning, got to class on time. Class was uneventful. Came back to the room, started typing. Did that for awhile, then Mike walked in and distracted me for way longer than he should have. Then, I found some packing material, the great big bubbly kind, which I stomped on and laughed maniacly. This, of course, drew the attention of Alexandra and her friend Christine, who were below me hanging out. In addition, it no doubt drew the attention of Megan, whom I was told was below the room adjacent to mine attempting to take a nap, and groaning as I went to town on the packing material. Alexandra and her friend came up and hung out, allowing me to not write my essays for at least a half hour. I then wrote a little bit more, but not much. Then I went to dinner, then I came back, and here I am.

Ok. I really am just wasting time. I'm gonna go take a whiz and then work on my essays.

Day 72- New Ways to Not Write a Paper

My final essays are due next Tuesday. I am stuck on one of them, so common sense would suggest that I simply begin the other. But that would involve being productive. So I'm gonna sit, watch the rain fall and the wind blow and listen to John Mayer.

Found out yesterday that I overdrew on my bank account THREE TIMES, and so I owe the bank $32 for EACH one. It sucks that my four dollar Oregon burrito cost me $36. In addition, my truck has to take an emissions test this year before I can get it licensed. OK. My truck is not environmentally friendly. I know this. It's a 1984 carbureted 2.8 v6 Chevy S-10, with 125,000 miles on the second engine. I just dumped $1700 into it so that it would run like a champ again. Here's the thing. This car was not meant to run like a champ AND pass emissions simultaneously. Which means that I have to take it in to get it not polluting, and then take it back once it passes to make it run well. I just don't have the money for this right now. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to pay my room-and-board next quarter.

I was also thinking: Why do I have to have my truck licensed? What difference does it make? I don't think most people know. I have been reading the book 1984 (OK. I just realized that the book title matches the year of my truck...) and there's a big emphasis on surveillance via telescreen. I cannot help but feel that in registering my truck, I am being tracked. With every swipe of a debit card, credit card, Western Card, with every phone call I make, every song I download, every Facebook comment I leave, The Man is tracking me. And it's freaking true. Right now, someone could go "Huh, I wonder what Brandon's doing...Oh. He's on Blogger in his dorm at 921 Ridgeway-Gamma writing about how I'm watching him." I post my address because they know it already. We're freaking being tracked, folks. In the name of freaking patriotism, we're being tracked. Thank goodness I have nothing to hide.

I have realized recently that I don't trust our government. Anything that comes out of the White House, I just turn it off because it's a bunch of crap. After years of saying "Sanction Iran, they're making nukes" and threatening them with World War Freaking-III, it's "Um. They haven't actually been making them since 2003. But it's good that we're keeping an eye on them." SO what's the truth? All the evidence you've given us... where'd you freaking get it? Oh. You made it up? No way. Where have I heard this before...thank goodness we aren't at war with the accused country when you told us.

Ok. I think I've vented enough. qrjmnha[n jgaq

Day 71- I-Wish-I-Were-Dead Week

Um. Not a whole lot's going on right now, just finding new ways to waste time.

Woke up this morning to my mother so graciously reminding me that my brother and sister went to Switchfoot-Relient K last night and got to meet Switchfoot. Gr. Oh, and my parents went to Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Grr. So three of my favorite bands are playing and I am in the middle of Dead Week.

Found out I did halfway decent on my history papers. I got about the equivalent of B's in both. Ok. I have to unhook myself from the internet right now. too distracted...

Day 70-Dead Week Begins Tomorrow

Before I start killing myself with schoolwork today, I should get this over with. I just ate pancakes, sausage, hashbrowns, and cheesy potatoes. Can we say "backed up?" I just know it's gonna be troublesome.

Our snow is almost gone, because it's been raining all morning. It's not really that much fun to watch go away, and I realized that when I move somewhere else, I want the snow to stay all winter.

Here's the other thought I had the other day (remember how I was saying that I would write about it later? Here it is.) For those of you that don't know, which I guess might be a lot of you because I am not very open about it unless I know people are going to be receptive to my opinions, I am a little bit of a socialist. I tend to give a little bit of validity to Marx's writings, and I think the main reason they haven't come to pass is that in the places that it could have worked, communism was forced. Marx writes that it can't be, that it comes naturally. SO. Social conditions have to be right for socialism and eventually communism to take place.

As a side note, because I know what you're thinking (other than "This guy's a LUNATIC,") I don't think it can work in America, not now at least, because the way the wealth is spread out in this country makes most people a bourgeoisie (people who own the means of production,) the very people who are to be overthrown when communism "inevitably" occurs. The proletariat (working class) isn't large enough for this to happen. Yet.

So. The very idea of socialism is that the government essentially takes care of everything for you. Yeah, you pay a lot of taxes, but you would have government provided health care and so on. Yes. It also means that there's no private property, an idea I struggle with because I like my stuff. Marx also suggests doing away with family structure, saying it's a way of keeping wealth in the hands of a few, which I sort of agree with but I wouldn't go so far as to abolish the family structure.

We are all familiar with capitalism, at least in practice. This is essentially a merit system. The harder you work, the more you get, and the more you get, the "better you are" in terms of society.

This is my thought. I base my political or ideological beliefs (or whatever) on a certain passage in the Bible, Acts 4:32-7. Godly communism. At least that's how I interpret it. And I got to thinking: what part of salvation is a merit system? By grace. Through faith. It's not of ourselves, it's a gift from God. And no one can gain it themselves.

Ok. So maybe it's not that profound. But I thought it was worth sharing. It's now time to do homework.

Day 69- First Snow of the Season

Yes. It's true. It's snowing outside, just as the weather-people predicted. Amazing. It's too bad that 1.) I don't have my snowboarding stuff up here, so I can't hit any jibs, and 2.) I really have too much school work to do to go out and play in it. We're up to about 2 inches, I reckon, and here I am in this room right now trying to focus on school stuff. See how well it's working?

I also am accutely aware of one more reason I can't focus: John is still in bed. I don't know why that bugs me, because it shouldn't. I guess I just want to turn on all the lights, open the window curtains, and not have to worry about waking him up. But I know he's awake. He's just laying there. Wasting time. Maybe that's what bugs me. That I am up being productive (kinda) and he's not. As we all know, it's all about me.

I promise, God put this guy in my life for a reason. It makes me uncomfortable to have to deal with this stuff, but I know I have to. John makes my faults incredibly evident. I am a lookist, judging people by their appearance. I am impatient with him, due to his seeming ignorance of social norms. The list goes on. Some days it's easier. Like when I don't have to be around him all the time. Again, it's all about me.

I'm a hypocrite. For all of my rhetoric on civil rights, tolerance, and treating others as I'd like to be treated, I'm guilty of the very practices which I speak against. And it drives me nuts.

This is where I need the help of the six (?) people that read my worthless entry on the internet. I need prayer. A lot. I can't live with this guy like this for another six months. A big step has been taken for me, and that's posting this entry. So. Pray that I would do something about this. Pray that I would rely on God more for feelings and actions that don't come easy.

John's up. This means that I can get back to my school stuff. The snow's done falling, too.